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          一定牛彩票app是真的吗

          2020-01-30 00:03:52  来源:人民网-国际频道
           

          一定牛彩票app是真的吗Big mistake with Twitter cheat expose. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterThere’s nothing quite like the world of Twitter getting behind you. But what happens when social media users turn detective 2014; and get it totally wrong?That2019;s what happened to Twitter user Saint Keny who has gone massively viral after she spotted a photo of what appeared to be her boyfriend with another woman.It all started innocently enough. A woman posted a selfie of her hugging a very ripped man, his identity protected by a strategically placed love heart eyes emoji positioned over his head.201C;Men with this physique really do something to me,201D; the tweet read.The photo that sparked a Twitter frenzy to expose a suspected ‘cheat’. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterBut the woman apparently didn2019;t think to cover up the distinctive tattoos across his chest and upper arms and was quickly contacted by another woman.201C;This is my current boyfriend 2026; When was this picture taken?201D; she asked, calling on the original poster to provide her 201C;receipts201D;.She also added she2019;d be able to identify him just one of his fingers in the snap.What unfolded next was a full-blown investigation, with Twitter users donning their detective caps to try to uncover if the man in question was a 201C;cheater201D;.When one zoomed in on the magazines stacked on a shelf behind and matched it to a cover dated February 2019, the Twitter world swung its axe.201C;He would have gotten away with it too if it weren2019;t for Twitter,201D; one person wrote.201C;That2019;s what is referred to as a well worn train track,201D; another said.201C;Damn, that2019;s some detective work right there,201D; a stunned user declared.Once Saint Keny spotted what she thought was her boyfriend, the internet went crazy trying to prove he was involved in the suspicious encounter. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterWhen someone was able to match the magazine covers in the background and date them, many presumed the case was closed. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterBut that2019;s not where the viral expose thread 2014; which has had more than 83,000 retweets and 320,000 likes 2014; ends.After her boyfriend was slammed on the social media platform for his alleged philanderous ways, Saint Keny decided to address the claims, revealing it wasn2019;t an open and shut case.201C;Just for the record this man never cheated on me. We2019;ve only been dating for 2 months. And only got serious in the last two weeks,201D; she wrote.just for the record this man never cheated on me ?????♀? we’ve only been dating for 2 months. And only got serious in the last two weeks ?????♀? pic.twitter.com/m1RYsfKLj2— Saint Mother Keny (@KenyDaNinja) August 5, 2019 She also shared a snap of her cuddling up to him while on a boat, adding she blamed herself for the social media storm as she 201C;antagonised201D; the situation.The revelation has shocked many, with people calling the CSI turn of events 201C;ridiculous201D; and 201C;savage201D;.201C;This is a total mess,201D; another said, which just about sums it up.Continue the conversation @RebekahScanlan | rebekah.scanlan@news.com.autrending in lifestyle

          She said she was a young woman seeking love, and she was gorgeous. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:Supplied Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to catfishing and online deception.QUESTION: I couldn2019;t believe my luck when I met an incredible woman online. She contacted me on Tinder, but we quickly took things off-platform, texting until the early hours every night. She was easily the most beautiful woman who has ever spoken to me 2014; I2019;m not the most popular man when it comes to the ladies. I couldn2019;t believe the connection I felt to her, even though we2019;d never actually spoken before (she told me the microphone on her phone was broken so we could only text, not speak). After months of chatting, she finally agreed to fly from Perth to Melbourne so we could meet in person, but on the day, everything went wrong 2014; her car broke down and she missed her flight and had no money to buy a new one, so I sent her some cash, about $4000 in total. I waited at the airport but she never showed up and hasn2019;t answered any of my texts since. I am heartbroken and also so embarrassed. Was I catfished? Do I have any legal rights? 2014; Paul, MelbourneANSWER: Catfishing is the term used to describe deception about someone2019;s identity online, usually with an ulterior motive.As in your case, it2019;s often used in online dating to pursue someone romantically under false pretences or to bully someone on social media.RELATED: Help! My landlord keeps 2018;dropping in2019; unannouncedRELATED: Help! My neighbour is secretly filming meRELATED: My boss hit on me and then made me redundantDo you ever really know who you're chatting to online? Picture: Rohit Tandon/UnsplashSource:SuppliedCatfishing itself is not a crime under the law, however it will be considered illegal in certain circumstances.Every state and territory has laws making fraudulent behaviour a crime, with hefty financial penalties and jail time.For catfishing to be classified as fraud under the law, it would need to be shown that:2022; By deception, the 201C;catfish201D; acted dishonestly;2022; The conduct caused a financial advantage over the other person or caused them to suffer a disadvantage;2022; The conduct was intentional or reckless.Tracking down this woman2019;s real identity (assuming she was even a woman) can be very difficult, let alone proving the elements of fraud to allow criminal charges to be laid.Catfishing may also violate the terms of use of the particular social media or dating platform, so you should report the woman2019;s profile to Tinder ensure her profile is suspended immediately.Unfortunately, you2019;re not the first person to fall for a catfishing scam, with celebrity Casey Donovan also being a victim.Celebrities have also had their identities stolen in order to catfish unsuspecting victims.Criminal charges can also be laid where the catfish uses fraud to procure or engage in sexual activity.Other more serious charges may apply to people who prey on children online to cause them harm, engage or procure sexual activity. Dubbed 201C;Carly2019;s Law201D;, these laws follow the campaigning of concerned mother Sonia Ryan whose 15-year-old daughter was murdered in 2007 by a man posing online as an 18-year-old musician.In relation to the money that you provided her, if your intention was to loan her the money then you may be able to get this back from her.To do so, you must send her a letter of demand (after you have identified who she is), setting out that she owes you $4000 and asking that it be repaid within a certain time frame, otherwise legal action will be taken.She said she was a young woman seeking love and was the girl of his dreams. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:SuppliedIf she doesn2019;t respond then each state and territory has different rules about how to recover money owed to you.In Victoria, you2019;re able to begin proceedings in the Magistrate2019;s Court to recover debts up to $100,000. This is also the case in South Australia.For those living in other states and territories, such as Queensland, or the ACT where the amount is less than $25,000 ($10,000 in the Northern Territory), then a claim can be lodged with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.To lodge a claim with the tribunal or court, you must prepare a claim document that has:2022; The full name, and address, of the person or business who owes you money;2022; Details of the debt, including the date and place it happened, the amount, the terms of the agreement (including when it was to be paid back and whether it was a written or verbal agreement);2022; Any supporting documents, such as a copy of the agreement, and evidence showing the transfer of the money or goods (for example, bank statements);2022; Details of the amount you are trying to recover, plus any additional costs or interest.You must then serve the claim on the person who owes you money, and you may have to prove you provided her with the documents. The time frame for her to respond is 21 days in Victoria but between 21 and 30 days in other states and territories.If your catfisher fails to respond, you can ask the court or tribunal to make a decision in your favour. You may otherwise be required to attend the court or tribunal and argue why you should be repaid.If, ultimately, the debt is ordered to be repaid, then your catfisher may agree to repay the debt in instalments. If the debt is not repaid, then you may make a further application to the court or tribunal to:2022; Seize and sell property 2014; the property must be sold by public auction and for a reasonable price;2022; Redirect debts 2014; if your catfisher is owed money by someone else, this can instead be ordered to be given to you instead;2022; Redirect earnings 2014; your catfisher2019;s employer can be ordered to pay most of her wage to you leaving only necessary living expenses (social security payments cannot be redirected);2022; Redirect other money 2014; if she has money in a bank account or is due to receive money for rental income, then this can be paid;2022; Petition for the bankruptcy of your catfisher.If your catfisher does repay some of the debt, then always keep records and provide a receipt. Electronic transfers or a bank cheque are often a safer option rather than handing money over in a briefcase.There are strict time limits to recover a debt, so you should not delay in taking action.This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email stories@news.com.autrending in lifestyle

          In New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state. But it’s not the same across the country.Source:istockOPINIONLast weekend, I did a favour for a friend of mine.She2019;s a sex worker too, an independent escort who had gone to a hotel in the city for a booking with a client.When she arrived, she texted me the name of the hotel, the room they were in and the time the booking was due to start 2013; and finish. She also texted me the full name of the client and told me that if she hadn2019;t messaged again within fifteen minutes of the time the booking was due to finish, then I should call her immediately and keep calling until she picked up.If she didn2019;t pick up, my next step was to then call the hotel, and the police.This might sound like a pretty intense situation to observe from afar on my casual Saturday night, but it2019;s by no means the first time I2019;ve kept an eye on a fellow sex worker2019;s booking to make sure that they got in and out safely and had someone to call if they ran in to trouble.I imagine that on any given night in any city across the world, there are workers doing the same thing: watching the time tick by on their phone screen and waiting for that text to pop up from their friend, letting them know that the booking went well and they2019;re in a taxi, on their way home.The main difference between what my friend and I did, and what I imagine workers across the globe might have been doing on that same night, is that it was totally legal for her to contact me and let me know that she was working.Related: Will sex robots save the world?Related: The truth about men who visit sex workersRelated: What I learnt during a year of being singleIn New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state, decriminalisation simply means that police are not the ones in charge of regulating the sex industry.While sex workers must be over eighteen and forcing anyone to provide sexual services is against the law, sex workers and adult businesses operate like any other professional service. According to Scarlet Alliance, the industry is regulated by local councils (who control planning and licensing), WorkCover NSW (who oversee occupational health and safety) and NSW Health, who look at all matters relating to public health.New South Wales is the only state in Australia where sex work is fully decriminalised, but the model of decriminalisation is one most sex workers across the world believe creates the best and safest working conditions. It2019;s even been endorsed by Amnesty International, after an extensive amount of research found laws that criminalise sex work not only make workers more vulnerable to exploitation and marginalisation, but make them less likely to approach police for help if they need it.Put simply, a sex worker who is working in a country where sex work is illegal can2019;t go to the police to report a crime committed against them while working, without also dobbing themselves in as having done something illegal too. Related: What are the 2018;rules2019; for relationships?Related: Is casual sex the solution, rather than the problem?Related: This is the worst Australian city to find a dateWhile it2019;s perfectly legal within the state of New South Wales for my friend to ask me to check in on her while she works, that2019;s sadly not the case in every state.In Queensland, for example, two or more sex workers working together, whether it2019;s seeing a client together for a double booking or even just working out of the same hotel, even unknowingly, is considered an offence and can result in criminal penalties.One worker checking in with another as they work is also against the law, as is having a receptionist or even a paid driver who drives more than one worker.If you think this is all beginning to sound a bit ridiculous, you2019;re not alone. After many years of campaigning from sex workers and peer organisations, Queensland is finally beginning to look at decriminalising sex work and removing these restrictive laws: something that feels long overdue.While there2019;s no doubt that the adult industry should be fairly regulated so it can co-exist peacefully alongside other industries, workers in Queensland have been asking for a long time why they face a choice between working legally and working safely. Related: Has sex work ruined my ability to flirt?Related: The six men every sex worker encounters on dating appsRelated: What it was like to have casual sex after almost a year withoutIf the law prevents sex workers from working in a premises with their peers or even messaging fellow workers for help and assistance, it creates an environment in which people who are already vulnerable and marginalised are at risk of becoming even more so.It2019;s bizarre to think that if my friend and I lived in Queensland instead of New South Wales, her simple request that I keep an eye on her during her booking could have resulted in criminal penalties for us both. In every other industry across Australia, laws are put in place to protect the safety of workers: so why not ours?While the majority of sex workers2019; clients are good and kind people, there is always a small chance that the next booking a worker walks in to could be with a client who chooses to be disrespectful, aggressive, or worse.Laws that legitimise and support sex workers go a long way in changing people2019;s attitudes towards us and in turn their behaviour; every sex worker deserves to work in a place where they know that the police would treat them like any other citizen if they were to reach out.As for my friend, she messaged me right on time as she left her booking and then again as she got in to the taxi that took her home. She had a glass of wine, took a shower, and then got in to bed, signing off with a final text before she fell asleep.We were two ordinary women talking about our jobs, having found one of the rare places in the world where it was totally legal and safe for us to do so.2014; Kate Iselin is a writer and sex worker. Continue the conversation @kateiselintrending in lifestyle

          “Painfully single” Robyn Lynne Norris had no idea her “goofy” dating profile would prove so popular, it’s now the subject of a Broadway show.Source:InstagramIt started seven years ago, with a favour: One of Robyn Lynne Norris’ friends had signed up with OkCupid and asked her to review her online dating profile.Back then, Norris, a 20-something 201C;hopeless romantic201D;, knew nothing about online dating. Newly arrived in Los Angeles and lonely, the writer-comedian had just come off a bad breakup 2014; to a fellow comedian who, during their months-long gig on a cruise ship, hooked up with the woman in the cabin next door. On Norris2019; birthday, no less.And so, with time on her hands and angst in her heart, she agreed to help her friend 2014; only to find she had to submit a bio of her own before she could view someone else2019;s, the New York Post reports.Within five minutes, Norris scratched out a jokey profile of someone she considered utterly 201C;undateable201D;: a 28-year-old LA woman posting as 201C;Tracylovescats.201D;Robyn Lynne Norris created this goofy dating profile to help a friend and was amazed at the response. Picture: Supplied/DatemediariesSource:SuppliedAs the dating site required, she gave Tracy a self-summary (201C;I love KITTIES!201D;), a goal (201C;Trying to act and playing with my kitties ALL day long!!!201D;) and a typical Friday night activity (201C;Eating chocolate and playing with my KITTIES!!!201D;).She attached a goofy-looking photo of herself, posted it and went on with her life.Three nights later, when Norris met her friend for dinner, she logged on 2014; and found that her kitty-loving alter ego had pawed a nerve. Along with some punny and profane come-ons were a lot of playful responses, along the lines of 201C;meow, meow201D; and 201C;purr, nap, yawn.201D; And they were from men. More than a hundred of them!201C;It was crazy,201D; Norris tells the Post. 201C;I thought, 2018;I2019;m so painfully single 2014; and this crazy cat lady is more popular online than I am in real life!2019;201D;The reaction to ‘Traceylovescats’ inspired Robyn Norris to start a social experiment. Picture: Instagram/Robyn Lynne NorrisSource:InstagramSo began her year-long experiment into who, if anyone, might be considered 201C;undateable201D; in the wide-open world of the internet.Those profiles and responses gradually blossomed into a show. #DateMe: An OKCupid Experiment, now playing off-Broadway, has a cast of eight, several musical numbers and a downloadable Tinder-like dating app, #DateMe, that lets theatregoers connect with each other during the show.At the heart of the show is Norris (played by actress Kaitlyn Black) and her own lightly fictionalised life story, plus verbatim snippets from the 38 preposterous OkCupid profiles she and several friends created.Enter Clean4U84, who billed herself as 201C;a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. A head that likes to be shampoo2019;d . . . scrubba, scrubba, scrubba201D; and whose favourite 201C;book201D; was the Bed Bath amp; Beyond catalogue.Prinzess Angie sounds like a delight. Picture: Supplied/DatemediariesSource:Supplied201C;She got hundreds and hundreds of responses,201D; Norris says. 201C;I think because it was so funny.201D;Also popular was BoobsandWangz, a 32-year-old law firm receptionist whose lifelong dream was to work at Hooters. That generated a lot of interest, too, Norris says: 201C;Lots of people played along, telling her they knew a manager201D; at one of the franchises.But before Norris and Co. posted any of their fake personas, they set some ground rules.201C;We didn2019;t want to catfish anyone,201D; she says. People who seemed genuinely interested in kitty-loving Tracy or CokedOut 2014; a 32-year-old Boston brunette with a yen for Coca-Cola 2014; were told the women were off the market.201C;I think it was pretty impossible to think these (profiles) were real people,201D; Norris says. 201C;But if they didn2019;t know, I2019;d write back and say, 2018;Hey, you seem wonderful, but I just started seeing someone.2019; I wasn2019;t into ghosting.201D;Who wouldn’t want to date someone obsessed with Christmas? Picture: Supplied / DatemediariesSource:SuppliedShe and her collaborators also vowed not to use stock art: All 38 profile pictures were photos of either the Los Angeles-based Norris or her friends.Along the way, she learned a lot about online dating, and what it takes to elicit the most interest.201C;I realised the more specific you are in your profile, the more responses and messages you2019;ll get,201D; Norris says. 201C;Everyone says they love to laugh and travel, but the more specific you make it 2014; the more you put in what2019;s weird and unique about yourself 2014; the more interesting you2019;ll be.201D;She also believes the stereotypical online dater is just that: a stereotype. 201C;People think everyone on the internet is disgusting or just wants to have sex,201D; she says. 201C;But I found myself connecting with funny people, lovely people.201D;Barely had her experiment ended, in 2013, when Norris herself felt ready to connect. But before she went online in earnest, she met someone in real life, at a comedy club. Atul Singh, an improv and sketch comedian, won her heart before their first dinner date, just by giving her a curated list of restaurants to choose from.Norris is now married to Atul Singh. Picture: Supplied / DatemediariesSource:Supplied201C;He did a lot of research,201D; she says. 201C;I thought, 2018;This is already the most thoughtful person I2019;ve gone on a date with!2019; 201D; They wed in 2017 with two ceremonies. In the Hindu one, Singh rode in on a horse 2014; her knight in shining armour.201C;I think the experiment helped me get ready for him,201D; Norris says. 201C;I was so closed down before . . . The internet gives you the feeling that you can reach out. People want to connect.201D;This article originally appeared on The NY Post and was reproduced with permissiontrending in lifestyle、Qamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedWHEN sexologist Nikki Goldstein visited a sex toy trade show in China there was one product that made her particularly uncomfortable.Ms Goldstein explained to panellists on Qamp;A on Monday night that sex dolls can2019;t move independently and have to be carried around, so there is a trend towards making them smaller in size.But when she spotted some dolls that were 201C;smaller in stature201D; in China she said they did ring alarm bells for her about whether they were pedo-bots.201C;They were very cute looking, which was explained to me was not for Western cultures 2014; which was for Asian cultures,201D; she said.201C;It looked too much like a child and I questioned the person selling them. I said 2018;is that a child doll?2019;. My immediate reaction was 2018;this is not right2019;.201D;She said it was explained to her that the doll had small breasts, which meant it was an adult, just in a smaller size but she said it was a 201C;scary issue201D;.Ms Goldstein said technology was not good enough yet to make sex robots that were life-like, which felt or respond like actual humans, making their use more of a fetish.Jude Law (right) and Ashley Scott play sex robots in the Steven Spielberg film AISource:Supplied201C;For a lot of people who do sexually desire a sex robot, we may be looking at techno-sexuality,201D; she said.The desire may actually be for control and the idea that the robot is there purely for their pleasure.201C;I know a lot of people freak out about that and think 2018;what are we teaching people?2019;. Are we teaching them not to engage in consent?201C;Even if we are going to program these AI (artificial intelligence) bots to say no, what2019;s going to happen? Will a gate come down?201D;Are sex robots a true solution for those who struggle with intimacy? #QandA pic.twitter.com/AvIVuuEl9Cmdash; ABC Qamp;A (@QandA) November 5, 2018Qamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedOnce the technology gets better, Ms Goldstein believes the person who would most likely benefit from using a sex robot would be someone who wants some form of intimate connection without having to go to a brothel.However, social commentator Van Badham said providing someone with a sex robot could further loneliness and isolation.201C;You have a phenomenon in Japan of people getting older and older without having sexual relationships, without forming partnerships or families because their lives are dominated by work,201D; she said.She said the kind of work people do is very individualised and this meant as we moved towards certain automations, the notion of human contact was being taken away.201C;If you provide somebody with a sex robot and say that you can have this instead of a relationship, you2019;re furthering that loneliness and that sense of isolation.201D;While some of the panellists wondered if the robots could play some role in educating people about sex and their lives, pop culture critic Chuck Klosterman said he thought this was 201C;optimistic201D;.201C;You could look at pornography and say this is a way for a young person to learn about sex before they experience it,201D; he said. 201C;That2019;s not the main reason young people look at pornography.201D;There were also questions about who would control the data that sex robots gathered from the interactions with their owners.201C;Who is buying the data? Is Facebook buying the data to learn more about us on a sexual basis?201D; Ms Goldstein pointed out.201C;Will porn companies be able to tap into what we2019;re doing with these robots?201D;The discussion, which featured speakers from the Festival of Dangerous Ideas and also veered briefly on to questions of where to store sex dolls, seemed to lose many viewers with many describing it on social media as weird and inane.Easieslty the weirdest episode of #QandA evermdash; Anthony Shaw (@AnthonyShaw250) November 5, 2018#QandA Seriously? Homeless people. Working poor. Refugees. Who cares about sex robots.mdash; Theresa Grima (@OsiraOz) November 5, 2018#QandA this sex robot conversation is bordering on the inanemdash; Jane Caro (@JaneCaro) November 5, 2018Tonight’s #qanda is absolutely excruciating. These are some incredibly intelligent panelists, but they are being pushed by the producers into covering way too many topics. These are heavy sociotechnical topics that need focus and time to unpack, and we are just getting hot takes.mdash; Dr Daniel Angus (@antmandan) November 5, 2018I turned @QandA off.. FIRST TIME EVER !! #QandAmdash; MormorLady (@mormorlady) November 5, 2018Meanwhile, performer and sex clown Betty Grumble said she thought the way society was educating kids around sex wasn2019;t right.201C;There is so much shame and sex panic,201D; she said.Ms Grumble said sex and death had become sanitised and controlled in society.201C;It2019;s a way of controlling people,201D; she said. 201C;It2019;s beautiful that we2019;re all so different 2026; the only problem is when we harm others.201D;Ms Grumble said she thought people should confront shame where they saw it and stick up for people and all their weirdness.Australians were still struggling to encourage women to be sexual outside of monogamy, Ms Goldstein noted.201C;I really feel we have a linear model when we look at sex that2019;s influenced by religion: boy meets girl, boy-girl get married, have sex, procreate,201D; she said.The discussion also touched a new social credit system being trialled in China that gives people points or takes them away depending on their behaviour on social media or if they are buying things like alcohol or cigarettes.201C;It is terrifying to see what2019;s happening in China,201D; artificial intelligence researcher Tony Walsh said, saying the system was 201C;really Orwellian201D;.He said China had also developed a facial recognition system called Skynet (yes, like the machine in The Terminator movie) and it could scan a billion faces in a second.201C;They are using it to suppress religious minorities already,201D; Mr Walsh said.201C;If you think we2019;re in Australia and can sit back and relax, our government has just decided they2019;re going to build a national database and everyone2019;s passport photograph and licence photograph, all of your biometrics is going to be in that database for national security purposes.201D;Sophia - The First Robot Citizen of the World。

          Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men's names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty ImagesWouldn’t it be handy — albeit a complete violation of one’s privacy — if you could check a list every time you started dating someone, just to make sure they weren’t already married? Well, now single gals in Tanzania may be able to do just that after a governor unveiled plans to create a public database of every engaged and married man2019;s name 2014; in a bid to save single women from 201C;unnecessary heartbreak201D;.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda, the governor of the country2019;s capital city Dar-es-Salaam, said he has received a lot of complaints from women who were abandoned by their lovers after becoming engaged, revealing his plan to help tackle infidelity in the East African country.According to the leader, a database will help prevent men from cheating as once they2019;re married and no longer available, single women will be able to verify that information 2014; saving themselves from suffering a broken heart.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men’s names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty Images201C;I have been receiving complaints from women who have been promised marriage by men, yet the men didn2019;t fulfil the promise. I know women who have been paying bills yet the men walked away 2026;201D; Makonda said in native language Kiswahili during a press conference on Monday, reports CNN.201C;These charming men have been promising to marry them, then ditch the women after using them. This is something that is humiliating.201D;He then went on to detail a proposed database at the regional commissioner2019;s office in each region where 201C;every man who promises a woman marriage, this should be registered201D; in a bid to allow women to check to see whether the person asking was already married.Mr Makonda said the database would include men in Christian, Muslim and customary marriages.The announcement of such extreme measures has been met with a largely negative response, with many on Twitter blasting the idea calling it 201C;nonsense201D;.absolutely nonesense— ing dela hills sewornu ?? ???? (@prospersewornu) August 14, 2019 #Tanzania is to make its database of married men in the country public to help women know the marital status of their partners before they have a serious relationship with them. This came about following the number of women who claim to have been cheated on by men #CheatingMen— okwoche (@okwoche) August 13, 2019 Silly idea to make a data base for all married men. Guys would always cheat if the need arises.— Alfred Steven ??Sober-Man (@alfredsteven9) August 13, 2019 ???????? Good morning! Tanzania state official says plans underway to publicise married men in efforts to tame cheating - Graphic Online https://t.co/xxqXRiS2Ae— Sanaaheneba ???????? ???? (@bkghana) August 14, 2019 The Constitutional court should intervene here..Confidentiality should be upheld..!— Tornado..Veteran 102 (@tyengeni1954) August 13, 2019 What happened to.. right to privacy— Thulani (@thulanii_) August 13, 2019 However there were a few who thought the idea would work, with one praising it as a 201C;good idea201D;.Good idea ????— AFRICAN: Elijah Ngurare (@ngurare) August 13, 2019 Tanzanian news outlet The Citizen reported some men were upset over the plans as there was no suggestion a list of married women would be created.Tanzania isn2019;t the first country to propose a way to expose cheating men, with a governor in neighbouring Kenya vowing to expose politicians who abandon their lovers with children after an affair.Mike Sonko, governor of Nairobi, shared two telephone numbers on his Facebook page and urged women who believes they have been mistreated to contact his office with pictures and evidence of the affairs.201C;From today all great women of this country, if there is an MP, Senator, Governor, civil servant or businessman who has impregnated you and denied responsibility send me their details we expose him and seek DNA tests when he2019;s still alive,201D; Sonko wrote on his Facebook page.What do you think of the plans to create a public list of marriages to prevent cheating? Let us know in the comments below or continue the conversation @RebekahScanlan | rebekah.scanlan@news.com.autrending in lifestyle,In New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state. But it’s not the same across the country.Source:istockOPINIONLast weekend, I did a favour for a friend of mine.She2019;s a sex worker too, an independent escort who had gone to a hotel in the city for a booking with a client.When she arrived, she texted me the name of the hotel, the room they were in and the time the booking was due to start 2013; and finish. She also texted me the full name of the client and told me that if she hadn2019;t messaged again within fifteen minutes of the time the booking was due to finish, then I should call her immediately and keep calling until she picked up.If she didn2019;t pick up, my next step was to then call the hotel, and the police.This might sound like a pretty intense situation to observe from afar on my casual Saturday night, but it2019;s by no means the first time I2019;ve kept an eye on a fellow sex worker2019;s booking to make sure that they got in and out safely and had someone to call if they ran in to trouble.I imagine that on any given night in any city across the world, there are workers doing the same thing: watching the time tick by on their phone screen and waiting for that text to pop up from their friend, letting them know that the booking went well and they2019;re in a taxi, on their way home.The main difference between what my friend and I did, and what I imagine workers across the globe might have been doing on that same night, is that it was totally legal for her to contact me and let me know that she was working.Related: Will sex robots save the world?Related: The truth about men who visit sex workersRelated: What I learnt during a year of being singleIn New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state, decriminalisation simply means that police are not the ones in charge of regulating the sex industry.While sex workers must be over eighteen and forcing anyone to provide sexual services is against the law, sex workers and adult businesses operate like any other professional service. According to Scarlet Alliance, the industry is regulated by local councils (who control planning and licensing), WorkCover NSW (who oversee occupational health and safety) and NSW Health, who look at all matters relating to public health.New South Wales is the only state in Australia where sex work is fully decriminalised, but the model of decriminalisation is one most sex workers across the world believe creates the best and safest working conditions. It2019;s even been endorsed by Amnesty International, after an extensive amount of research found laws that criminalise sex work not only make workers more vulnerable to exploitation and marginalisation, but make them less likely to approach police for help if they need it.Put simply, a sex worker who is working in a country where sex work is illegal can2019;t go to the police to report a crime committed against them while working, without also dobbing themselves in as having done something illegal too. Related: What are the 2018;rules2019; for relationships?Related: Is casual sex the solution, rather than the problem?Related: This is the worst Australian city to find a dateWhile it2019;s perfectly legal within the state of New South Wales for my friend to ask me to check in on her while she works, that2019;s sadly not the case in every state.In Queensland, for example, two or more sex workers working together, whether it2019;s seeing a client together for a double booking or even just working out of the same hotel, even unknowingly, is considered an offence and can result in criminal penalties.One worker checking in with another as they work is also against the law, as is having a receptionist or even a paid driver who drives more than one worker.If you think this is all beginning to sound a bit ridiculous, you2019;re not alone. After many years of campaigning from sex workers and peer organisations, Queensland is finally beginning to look at decriminalising sex work and removing these restrictive laws: something that feels long overdue.While there2019;s no doubt that the adult industry should be fairly regulated so it can co-exist peacefully alongside other industries, workers in Queensland have been asking for a long time why they face a choice between working legally and working safely. Related: Has sex work ruined my ability to flirt?Related: The six men every sex worker encounters on dating appsRelated: What it was like to have casual sex after almost a year withoutIf the law prevents sex workers from working in a premises with their peers or even messaging fellow workers for help and assistance, it creates an environment in which people who are already vulnerable and marginalised are at risk of becoming even more so.It2019;s bizarre to think that if my friend and I lived in Queensland instead of New South Wales, her simple request that I keep an eye on her during her booking could have resulted in criminal penalties for us both. In every other industry across Australia, laws are put in place to protect the safety of workers: so why not ours?While the majority of sex workers2019; clients are good and kind people, there is always a small chance that the next booking a worker walks in to could be with a client who chooses to be disrespectful, aggressive, or worse.Laws that legitimise and support sex workers go a long way in changing people2019;s attitudes towards us and in turn their behaviour; every sex worker deserves to work in a place where they know that the police would treat them like any other citizen if they were to reach out.As for my friend, she messaged me right on time as she left her booking and then again as she got in to the taxi that took her home. She had a glass of wine, took a shower, and then got in to bed, signing off with a final text before she fell asleep.We were two ordinary women talking about our jobs, having found one of the rare places in the world where it was totally legal and safe for us to do so.2014; Kate Iselin is a writer and sex worker. Continue the conversation @kateiselintrending in lifestyle。

          She said she was a young woman seeking love, and she was gorgeous. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:Supplied Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to catfishing and online deception.QUESTION: I couldn2019;t believe my luck when I met an incredible woman online. She contacted me on Tinder, but we quickly took things off-platform, texting until the early hours every night. She was easily the most beautiful woman who has ever spoken to me 2014; I2019;m not the most popular man when it comes to the ladies. I couldn2019;t believe the connection I felt to her, even though we2019;d never actually spoken before (she told me the microphone on her phone was broken so we could only text, not speak). After months of chatting, she finally agreed to fly from Perth to Melbourne so we could meet in person, but on the day, everything went wrong 2014; her car broke down and she missed her flight and had no money to buy a new one, so I sent her some cash, about $4000 in total. I waited at the airport but she never showed up and hasn2019;t answered any of my texts since. I am heartbroken and also so embarrassed. Was I catfished? Do I have any legal rights? 2014; Paul, MelbourneANSWER: Catfishing is the term used to describe deception about someone2019;s identity online, usually with an ulterior motive.As in your case, it2019;s often used in online dating to pursue someone romantically under false pretences or to bully someone on social media.RELATED: Help! My landlord keeps 2018;dropping in2019; unannouncedRELATED: Help! My neighbour is secretly filming meRELATED: My boss hit on me and then made me redundantDo you ever really know who you're chatting to online? Picture: Rohit Tandon/UnsplashSource:SuppliedCatfishing itself is not a crime under the law, however it will be considered illegal in certain circumstances.Every state and territory has laws making fraudulent behaviour a crime, with hefty financial penalties and jail time.For catfishing to be classified as fraud under the law, it would need to be shown that:2022; By deception, the 201C;catfish201D; acted dishonestly;2022; The conduct caused a financial advantage over the other person or caused them to suffer a disadvantage;2022; The conduct was intentional or reckless.Tracking down this woman2019;s real identity (assuming she was even a woman) can be very difficult, let alone proving the elements of fraud to allow criminal charges to be laid.Catfishing may also violate the terms of use of the particular social media or dating platform, so you should report the woman2019;s profile to Tinder ensure her profile is suspended immediately.Unfortunately, you2019;re not the first person to fall for a catfishing scam, with celebrity Casey Donovan also being a victim.Celebrities have also had their identities stolen in order to catfish unsuspecting victims.Criminal charges can also be laid where the catfish uses fraud to procure or engage in sexual activity.Other more serious charges may apply to people who prey on children online to cause them harm, engage or procure sexual activity. Dubbed 201C;Carly2019;s Law201D;, these laws follow the campaigning of concerned mother Sonia Ryan whose 15-year-old daughter was murdered in 2007 by a man posing online as an 18-year-old musician.In relation to the money that you provided her, if your intention was to loan her the money then you may be able to get this back from her.To do so, you must send her a letter of demand (after you have identified who she is), setting out that she owes you $4000 and asking that it be repaid within a certain time frame, otherwise legal action will be taken.She said she was a young woman seeking love and was the girl of his dreams. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:SuppliedIf she doesn2019;t respond then each state and territory has different rules about how to recover money owed to you.In Victoria, you2019;re able to begin proceedings in the Magistrate2019;s Court to recover debts up to $100,000. This is also the case in South Australia.For those living in other states and territories, such as Queensland, or the ACT where the amount is less than $25,000 ($10,000 in the Northern Territory), then a claim can be lodged with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.To lodge a claim with the tribunal or court, you must prepare a claim document that has:2022; The full name, and address, of the person or business who owes you money;2022; Details of the debt, including the date and place it happened, the amount, the terms of the agreement (including when it was to be paid back and whether it was a written or verbal agreement);2022; Any supporting documents, such as a copy of the agreement, and evidence showing the transfer of the money or goods (for example, bank statements);2022; Details of the amount you are trying to recover, plus any additional costs or interest.You must then serve the claim on the person who owes you money, and you may have to prove you provided her with the documents. The time frame for her to respond is 21 days in Victoria but between 21 and 30 days in other states and territories.If your catfisher fails to respond, you can ask the court or tribunal to make a decision in your favour. You may otherwise be required to attend the court or tribunal and argue why you should be repaid.If, ultimately, the debt is ordered to be repaid, then your catfisher may agree to repay the debt in instalments. If the debt is not repaid, then you may make a further application to the court or tribunal to:2022; Seize and sell property 2014; the property must be sold by public auction and for a reasonable price;2022; Redirect debts 2014; if your catfisher is owed money by someone else, this can instead be ordered to be given to you instead;2022; Redirect earnings 2014; your catfisher2019;s employer can be ordered to pay most of her wage to you leaving only necessary living expenses (social security payments cannot be redirected);2022; Redirect other money 2014; if she has money in a bank account or is due to receive money for rental income, then this can be paid;2022; Petition for the bankruptcy of your catfisher.If your catfisher does repay some of the debt, then always keep records and provide a receipt. Electronic transfers or a bank cheque are often a safer option rather than handing money over in a briefcase.There are strict time limits to recover a debt, so you should not delay in taking action.This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email stories@news.com.autrending in lifestyleWhat is polyamory? Here’s what it’s really like to have multiple partners.Source:istockIT SEEMS quite a few people are doing it — with more than one person. As relationship norms shift, the acceptance and popularity of polyamory is growing. So what is it really like to have multiple partners?201C;Humans have been non-monogamous, and practising polyamory, for as long as there have been humans,201D; says Dr Heath Schechinger, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.Before you dismiss the notion as promiscuity slapped with a fancy label or as a neat excuse for the philandering type to justify a wandering eye, consider this: the fourth most popular relationship Google search in 2017 was 2018;what is a poly relationship?2019;The short answer? It2019;s the practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved.Vogue’s latest issue, which explores polyamory in-depth, is on-sale now.Source:Vogue AustraliaPerhaps it2019;s more accurate to define polyamory by what it isn2019;t. It isn2019;t a series of orgies. It isn2019;t polygamy (which is illegal in many places, as that entails being married to more than one person, and overwhelmingly involves men with multiple wives, not vice versa).It isn2019;t simply an open relationship whereby you live largely monogamously, save for the occasional one-night stand after a couple of after-work drinks.201C;This is different from the 2018;player2019;, who is deceiving people or who wants his cake and to eat it too. Part of it is there is an emphasis on being ethical and consensual, so that there is no hiding and no deception,201D; says Dr Schechinger, noting that current data, although scarce, does suggest a fairly equal split in men and women who choose a polyamorous lifestyle.201C;There will be people who say it is just something that guys want, but that doesn2019;t fall in line with the data.201D;The Bachelor is partly responsible for shifting cultural attitudes towards polyamory.Source:SuppliedCurrent figures suggest that around four to five per cent of the US population is in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship (a term that encompasses polyamory as well as swinging and open relationships), and more than one in five people have indicated that at one point they have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.201C;The CNM community is just as big as the LGBT community combined, and in terms of the number of people that have ever practised CNM, it is about as common as the number of people who own a cat,201D; says Schechinger, who is leading the first consensual non-monogamy task force.The real figures could be higher. With millennials and gen Z shunning labels, welcoming non-traditional lifestyles and, in general, demonstrating greater acceptance and open-mindedness about everything from gender stereotypes to who (or how many people) they bed, polyamory is increasingly prevalent.201C;Our culture is more open, we have more time and knowledge about it, we are less stigmatising and becoming more aware of diversity-related issues. I see this as just being another wave on that social justice or diversity-of-awareness trend,201D; says Schechinger.Musician Bethany Meyers and fiance US actor Nico Tortorella have made no secret of their polyamorous relationship.Source:AFPEven screen stars like Nico Tortorella 2014; the heart-throb of the Stan series Younger 2014; has made no secret of his polyamorous relationship with Bethany Meyers, whom he married earlier this year.In a piece she penned for LGBT publication Them, Meyers shed light on their arrangement: 201C;Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn2019;t. It2019;s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realised it2019;s the reason we are impenetrable. It2019;s hard to break something that bends.201D;At the heart of this movement is a big heart. It seems that for the poly community, love isn2019;t a zero-sum game in which loving someone deducts love from another.Soccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends.Source:AAPSoccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends. And going some way to easing the stigma of the notion that loving, or at least having feelings for more than one person, is simply human nature, the potential catches on The Bachelor and, more recently, The Bachelorette have been issuing roses to multiple people since the program first aired in 2002.It2019;s a lot to wrap your head around, particularly from the perspective of a traditional secure monogamous relationship 2014; all the more so if the idea of polyamory was floated to you in said buttoned-up union, as was the case for relationship coach Dr Elisabeth Sheff.201C;It was hard for me to understand how he could envision a life together without what I saw as recognisable commitment and without monogamy. He didn2019;t want to get married. He didn2019;t want to be monogamous, but he wanted to be together. I thought: 2018;What? How? What are you talking about?2019; explains Dr Sheff, who, despite eventually breaking up with her partner, began studying polyamory and has since penned three books on the subject, her most recent titled The Polyamorists Next Door. 201C;It turns out that I2019;m not polyamorous myself. But it can work well for other people. It isn2019;t for everyone, in fact, I would say that it is only for a minority of people. I would think that other forms of non-monogamy that have less emphasis on interaction and emotional sharing are probably a lot easier to manage.201D;What about jealousy? Polyamorists often say it’s not an issue.Source:istockThe other glaringly obvious obstacle in all of this is, of course, jealousy. Are you on board with the fact that the person you love is dating someone else they genuinely love, even if you2019;re doing it too? Some polyamorists in fact experience 2018;compersion2019;, which is often described as the opposite of jealousy 2014; the feeling of being genuinely happy for a loved one who is in love.201C;We2019;re not sure if people experience less jealousy because they are naturally drawn to polyamory, or if polyamory helps reduce jealousy, or if it is a combination of both,201D; says Schechinger.The takeaway? If you2019;re the type who has ever skimmed your significant other2019;s texts, then polyamory probably isn2019;t your jam. 201C;If you have that high level of jealousy receptors, then perhaps don2019;t do consensual non-monogamy, because it2019;s going to hurt you like hell,201D; echoes Dr Sheff.At the end of the day, polyamory is not for everybody.Source:istockFor others, however, uncovering polyamory has been more of an 2018;a-ha2019; moment. Gender-diverse Eve De Zilva discovered polyamory after attending sex-positive workshops at university.201C;I just thought: 2018;That is so for me!2019; I get to live my life to the fullest and connect with as many people as possible,201D; she explains. She has various partners on the go, while her live-in partner of five years, Tom, has just celebrated his one-year anniversary with another woman.She2019;s met Tom2019;s other 2018;plus one2019;: they even hang out. 201C;I really get along with her and we are all new to polyamory and don2019;t have a lot of role models, but it2019;s exciting to problem-solve together and figure out what2019;s best,201D; she explains.That starts, she says, with altering your perception of a textbook romance. 201C;When you have a network of people who are polyamorous, they don2019;t usually want or need to be someone2019;s everything, so it works really well.201D;Ditto boundaries and the line between supportive BFF and loving partner. 201C;It affects the relationship in the way that we care about each other2019;s reality, as a friend and as a lover. But we also try not to get involved where it isn2019;t relevant, that2019;s for sure.201D;Read the full article in Vogue Australia, on sale now, or at vogue.com.au.trending in lifestyle?

          In New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state. But it’s not the same across the country.Source:istockOPINIONLast weekend, I did a favour for a friend of mine.She2019;s a sex worker too, an independent escort who had gone to a hotel in the city for a booking with a client.When she arrived, she texted me the name of the hotel, the room they were in and the time the booking was due to start 2013; and finish. She also texted me the full name of the client and told me that if she hadn2019;t messaged again within fifteen minutes of the time the booking was due to finish, then I should call her immediately and keep calling until she picked up.If she didn2019;t pick up, my next step was to then call the hotel, and the police.This might sound like a pretty intense situation to observe from afar on my casual Saturday night, but it2019;s by no means the first time I2019;ve kept an eye on a fellow sex worker2019;s booking to make sure that they got in and out safely and had someone to call if they ran in to trouble.I imagine that on any given night in any city across the world, there are workers doing the same thing: watching the time tick by on their phone screen and waiting for that text to pop up from their friend, letting them know that the booking went well and they2019;re in a taxi, on their way home.The main difference between what my friend and I did, and what I imagine workers across the globe might have been doing on that same night, is that it was totally legal for her to contact me and let me know that she was working.Related: Will sex robots save the world?Related: The truth about men who visit sex workersRelated: What I learnt during a year of being singleIn New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state, decriminalisation simply means that police are not the ones in charge of regulating the sex industry.While sex workers must be over eighteen and forcing anyone to provide sexual services is against the law, sex workers and adult businesses operate like any other professional service. According to Scarlet Alliance, the industry is regulated by local councils (who control planning and licensing), WorkCover NSW (who oversee occupational health and safety) and NSW Health, who look at all matters relating to public health.New South Wales is the only state in Australia where sex work is fully decriminalised, but the model of decriminalisation is one most sex workers across the world believe creates the best and safest working conditions. It2019;s even been endorsed by Amnesty International, after an extensive amount of research found laws that criminalise sex work not only make workers more vulnerable to exploitation and marginalisation, but make them less likely to approach police for help if they need it.Put simply, a sex worker who is working in a country where sex work is illegal can2019;t go to the police to report a crime committed against them while working, without also dobbing themselves in as having done something illegal too. Related: What are the 2018;rules2019; for relationships?Related: Is casual sex the solution, rather than the problem?Related: This is the worst Australian city to find a dateWhile it2019;s perfectly legal within the state of New South Wales for my friend to ask me to check in on her while she works, that2019;s sadly not the case in every state.In Queensland, for example, two or more sex workers working together, whether it2019;s seeing a client together for a double booking or even just working out of the same hotel, even unknowingly, is considered an offence and can result in criminal penalties.One worker checking in with another as they work is also against the law, as is having a receptionist or even a paid driver who drives more than one worker.If you think this is all beginning to sound a bit ridiculous, you2019;re not alone. After many years of campaigning from sex workers and peer organisations, Queensland is finally beginning to look at decriminalising sex work and removing these restrictive laws: something that feels long overdue.While there2019;s no doubt that the adult industry should be fairly regulated so it can co-exist peacefully alongside other industries, workers in Queensland have been asking for a long time why they face a choice between working legally and working safely. Related: Has sex work ruined my ability to flirt?Related: The six men every sex worker encounters on dating appsRelated: What it was like to have casual sex after almost a year withoutIf the law prevents sex workers from working in a premises with their peers or even messaging fellow workers for help and assistance, it creates an environment in which people who are already vulnerable and marginalised are at risk of becoming even more so.It2019;s bizarre to think that if my friend and I lived in Queensland instead of New South Wales, her simple request that I keep an eye on her during her booking could have resulted in criminal penalties for us both. In every other industry across Australia, laws are put in place to protect the safety of workers: so why not ours?While the majority of sex workers2019; clients are good and kind people, there is always a small chance that the next booking a worker walks in to could be with a client who chooses to be disrespectful, aggressive, or worse.Laws that legitimise and support sex workers go a long way in changing people2019;s attitudes towards us and in turn their behaviour; every sex worker deserves to work in a place where they know that the police would treat them like any other citizen if they were to reach out.As for my friend, she messaged me right on time as she left her booking and then again as she got in to the taxi that took her home. She had a glass of wine, took a shower, and then got in to bed, signing off with a final text before she fell asleep.We were two ordinary women talking about our jobs, having found one of the rare places in the world where it was totally legal and safe for us to do so.2014; Kate Iselin is a writer and sex worker. Continue the conversation @kateiselintrending in lifestyle。

          She said she was a young woman seeking love, and she was gorgeous. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:Supplied Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to catfishing and online deception.QUESTION: I couldn2019;t believe my luck when I met an incredible woman online. She contacted me on Tinder, but we quickly took things off-platform, texting until the early hours every night. She was easily the most beautiful woman who has ever spoken to me 2014; I2019;m not the most popular man when it comes to the ladies. I couldn2019;t believe the connection I felt to her, even though we2019;d never actually spoken before (she told me the microphone on her phone was broken so we could only text, not speak). After months of chatting, she finally agreed to fly from Perth to Melbourne so we could meet in person, but on the day, everything went wrong 2014; her car broke down and she missed her flight and had no money to buy a new one, so I sent her some cash, about $4000 in total. I waited at the airport but she never showed up and hasn2019;t answered any of my texts since. I am heartbroken and also so embarrassed. Was I catfished? Do I have any legal rights? 2014; Paul, MelbourneANSWER: Catfishing is the term used to describe deception about someone2019;s identity online, usually with an ulterior motive.As in your case, it2019;s often used in online dating to pursue someone romantically under false pretences or to bully someone on social media.RELATED: Help! My landlord keeps 2018;dropping in2019; unannouncedRELATED: Help! My neighbour is secretly filming meRELATED: My boss hit on me and then made me redundantDo you ever really know who you're chatting to online? Picture: Rohit Tandon/UnsplashSource:SuppliedCatfishing itself is not a crime under the law, however it will be considered illegal in certain circumstances.Every state and territory has laws making fraudulent behaviour a crime, with hefty financial penalties and jail time.For catfishing to be classified as fraud under the law, it would need to be shown that:2022; By deception, the 201C;catfish201D; acted dishonestly;2022; The conduct caused a financial advantage over the other person or caused them to suffer a disadvantage;2022; The conduct was intentional or reckless.Tracking down this woman2019;s real identity (assuming she was even a woman) can be very difficult, let alone proving the elements of fraud to allow criminal charges to be laid.Catfishing may also violate the terms of use of the particular social media or dating platform, so you should report the woman2019;s profile to Tinder ensure her profile is suspended immediately.Unfortunately, you2019;re not the first person to fall for a catfishing scam, with celebrity Casey Donovan also being a victim.Celebrities have also had their identities stolen in order to catfish unsuspecting victims.Criminal charges can also be laid where the catfish uses fraud to procure or engage in sexual activity.Other more serious charges may apply to people who prey on children online to cause them harm, engage or procure sexual activity. Dubbed 201C;Carly2019;s Law201D;, these laws follow the campaigning of concerned mother Sonia Ryan whose 15-year-old daughter was murdered in 2007 by a man posing online as an 18-year-old musician.In relation to the money that you provided her, if your intention was to loan her the money then you may be able to get this back from her.To do so, you must send her a letter of demand (after you have identified who she is), setting out that she owes you $4000 and asking that it be repaid within a certain time frame, otherwise legal action will be taken.She said she was a young woman seeking love and was the girl of his dreams. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:SuppliedIf she doesn2019;t respond then each state and territory has different rules about how to recover money owed to you.In Victoria, you2019;re able to begin proceedings in the Magistrate2019;s Court to recover debts up to $100,000. This is also the case in South Australia.For those living in other states and territories, such as Queensland, or the ACT where the amount is less than $25,000 ($10,000 in the Northern Territory), then a claim can be lodged with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.To lodge a claim with the tribunal or court, you must prepare a claim document that has:2022; The full name, and address, of the person or business who owes you money;2022; Details of the debt, including the date and place it happened, the amount, the terms of the agreement (including when it was to be paid back and whether it was a written or verbal agreement);2022; Any supporting documents, such as a copy of the agreement, and evidence showing the transfer of the money or goods (for example, bank statements);2022; Details of the amount you are trying to recover, plus any additional costs or interest.You must then serve the claim on the person who owes you money, and you may have to prove you provided her with the documents. The time frame for her to respond is 21 days in Victoria but between 21 and 30 days in other states and territories.If your catfisher fails to respond, you can ask the court or tribunal to make a decision in your favour. You may otherwise be required to attend the court or tribunal and argue why you should be repaid.If, ultimately, the debt is ordered to be repaid, then your catfisher may agree to repay the debt in instalments. If the debt is not repaid, then you may make a further application to the court or tribunal to:2022; Seize and sell property 2014; the property must be sold by public auction and for a reasonable price;2022; Redirect debts 2014; if your catfisher is owed money by someone else, this can instead be ordered to be given to you instead;2022; Redirect earnings 2014; your catfisher2019;s employer can be ordered to pay most of her wage to you leaving only necessary living expenses (social security payments cannot be redirected);2022; Redirect other money 2014; if she has money in a bank account or is due to receive money for rental income, then this can be paid;2022; Petition for the bankruptcy of your catfisher.If your catfisher does repay some of the debt, then always keep records and provide a receipt. Electronic transfers or a bank cheque are often a safer option rather than handing money over in a briefcase.There are strict time limits to recover a debt, so you should not delay in taking action.This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email stories@news.com.autrending in lifestyleWhat is polyamory? Here’s what it’s really like to have multiple partners.Source:istockIT SEEMS quite a few people are doing it — with more than one person. As relationship norms shift, the acceptance and popularity of polyamory is growing. So what is it really like to have multiple partners?201C;Humans have been non-monogamous, and practising polyamory, for as long as there have been humans,201D; says Dr Heath Schechinger, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.Before you dismiss the notion as promiscuity slapped with a fancy label or as a neat excuse for the philandering type to justify a wandering eye, consider this: the fourth most popular relationship Google search in 2017 was 2018;what is a poly relationship?2019;The short answer? It2019;s the practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved.Vogue’s latest issue, which explores polyamory in-depth, is on-sale now.Source:Vogue AustraliaPerhaps it2019;s more accurate to define polyamory by what it isn2019;t. It isn2019;t a series of orgies. It isn2019;t polygamy (which is illegal in many places, as that entails being married to more than one person, and overwhelmingly involves men with multiple wives, not vice versa).It isn2019;t simply an open relationship whereby you live largely monogamously, save for the occasional one-night stand after a couple of after-work drinks.201C;This is different from the 2018;player2019;, who is deceiving people or who wants his cake and to eat it too. Part of it is there is an emphasis on being ethical and consensual, so that there is no hiding and no deception,201D; says Dr Schechinger, noting that current data, although scarce, does suggest a fairly equal split in men and women who choose a polyamorous lifestyle.201C;There will be people who say it is just something that guys want, but that doesn2019;t fall in line with the data.201D;The Bachelor is partly responsible for shifting cultural attitudes towards polyamory.Source:SuppliedCurrent figures suggest that around four to five per cent of the US population is in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship (a term that encompasses polyamory as well as swinging and open relationships), and more than one in five people have indicated that at one point they have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.201C;The CNM community is just as big as the LGBT community combined, and in terms of the number of people that have ever practised CNM, it is about as common as the number of people who own a cat,201D; says Schechinger, who is leading the first consensual non-monogamy task force.The real figures could be higher. With millennials and gen Z shunning labels, welcoming non-traditional lifestyles and, in general, demonstrating greater acceptance and open-mindedness about everything from gender stereotypes to who (or how many people) they bed, polyamory is increasingly prevalent.201C;Our culture is more open, we have more time and knowledge about it, we are less stigmatising and becoming more aware of diversity-related issues. I see this as just being another wave on that social justice or diversity-of-awareness trend,201D; says Schechinger.Musician Bethany Meyers and fiance US actor Nico Tortorella have made no secret of their polyamorous relationship.Source:AFPEven screen stars like Nico Tortorella 2014; the heart-throb of the Stan series Younger 2014; has made no secret of his polyamorous relationship with Bethany Meyers, whom he married earlier this year.In a piece she penned for LGBT publication Them, Meyers shed light on their arrangement: 201C;Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn2019;t. It2019;s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realised it2019;s the reason we are impenetrable. It2019;s hard to break something that bends.201D;At the heart of this movement is a big heart. It seems that for the poly community, love isn2019;t a zero-sum game in which loving someone deducts love from another.Soccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends.Source:AAPSoccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends. And going some way to easing the stigma of the notion that loving, or at least having feelings for more than one person, is simply human nature, the potential catches on The Bachelor and, more recently, The Bachelorette have been issuing roses to multiple people since the program first aired in 2002.It2019;s a lot to wrap your head around, particularly from the perspective of a traditional secure monogamous relationship 2014; all the more so if the idea of polyamory was floated to you in said buttoned-up union, as was the case for relationship coach Dr Elisabeth Sheff.201C;It was hard for me to understand how he could envision a life together without what I saw as recognisable commitment and without monogamy. He didn2019;t want to get married. He didn2019;t want to be monogamous, but he wanted to be together. I thought: 2018;What? How? What are you talking about?2019; explains Dr Sheff, who, despite eventually breaking up with her partner, began studying polyamory and has since penned three books on the subject, her most recent titled The Polyamorists Next Door. 201C;It turns out that I2019;m not polyamorous myself. But it can work well for other people. It isn2019;t for everyone, in fact, I would say that it is only for a minority of people. I would think that other forms of non-monogamy that have less emphasis on interaction and emotional sharing are probably a lot easier to manage.201D;What about jealousy? Polyamorists often say it’s not an issue.Source:istockThe other glaringly obvious obstacle in all of this is, of course, jealousy. Are you on board with the fact that the person you love is dating someone else they genuinely love, even if you2019;re doing it too? Some polyamorists in fact experience 2018;compersion2019;, which is often described as the opposite of jealousy 2014; the feeling of being genuinely happy for a loved one who is in love.201C;We2019;re not sure if people experience less jealousy because they are naturally drawn to polyamory, or if polyamory helps reduce jealousy, or if it is a combination of both,201D; says Schechinger.The takeaway? If you2019;re the type who has ever skimmed your significant other2019;s texts, then polyamory probably isn2019;t your jam. 201C;If you have that high level of jealousy receptors, then perhaps don2019;t do consensual non-monogamy, because it2019;s going to hurt you like hell,201D; echoes Dr Sheff.At the end of the day, polyamory is not for everybody.Source:istockFor others, however, uncovering polyamory has been more of an 2018;a-ha2019; moment. Gender-diverse Eve De Zilva discovered polyamory after attending sex-positive workshops at university.201C;I just thought: 2018;That is so for me!2019; I get to live my life to the fullest and connect with as many people as possible,201D; she explains. She has various partners on the go, while her live-in partner of five years, Tom, has just celebrated his one-year anniversary with another woman.She2019;s met Tom2019;s other 2018;plus one2019;: they even hang out. 201C;I really get along with her and we are all new to polyamory and don2019;t have a lot of role models, but it2019;s exciting to problem-solve together and figure out what2019;s best,201D; she explains.That starts, she says, with altering your perception of a textbook romance. 201C;When you have a network of people who are polyamorous, they don2019;t usually want or need to be someone2019;s everything, so it works really well.201D;Ditto boundaries and the line between supportive BFF and loving partner. 201C;It affects the relationship in the way that we care about each other2019;s reality, as a friend and as a lover. But we also try not to get involved where it isn2019;t relevant, that2019;s for sure.201D;Read the full article in Vogue Australia, on sale now, or at vogue.com.au.trending in lifestyle。

          Qamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedWHEN sexologist Nikki Goldstein visited a sex toy trade show in China there was one product that made her particularly uncomfortable.Ms Goldstein explained to panellists on Qamp;A on Monday night that sex dolls can2019;t move independently and have to be carried around, so there is a trend towards making them smaller in size.But when she spotted some dolls that were 201C;smaller in stature201D; in China she said they did ring alarm bells for her about whether they were pedo-bots.201C;They were very cute looking, which was explained to me was not for Western cultures 2014; which was for Asian cultures,201D; she said.201C;It looked too much like a child and I questioned the person selling them. I said 2018;is that a child doll?2019;. My immediate reaction was 2018;this is not right2019;.201D;She said it was explained to her that the doll had small breasts, which meant it was an adult, just in a smaller size but she said it was a 201C;scary issue201D;.Ms Goldstein said technology was not good enough yet to make sex robots that were life-like, which felt or respond like actual humans, making their use more of a fetish.Jude Law (right) and Ashley Scott play sex robots in the Steven Spielberg film AISource:Supplied201C;For a lot of people who do sexually desire a sex robot, we may be looking at techno-sexuality,201D; she said.The desire may actually be for control and the idea that the robot is there purely for their pleasure.201C;I know a lot of people freak out about that and think 2018;what are we teaching people?2019;. Are we teaching them not to engage in consent?201C;Even if we are going to program these AI (artificial intelligence) bots to say no, what2019;s going to happen? Will a gate come down?201D;Are sex robots a true solution for those who struggle with intimacy? #QandA pic.twitter.com/AvIVuuEl9Cmdash; ABC Qamp;A (@QandA) November 5, 2018Qamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedOnce the technology gets better, Ms Goldstein believes the person who would most likely benefit from using a sex robot would be someone who wants some form of intimate connection without having to go to a brothel.However, social commentator Van Badham said providing someone with a sex robot could further loneliness and isolation.201C;You have a phenomenon in Japan of people getting older and older without having sexual relationships, without forming partnerships or families because their lives are dominated by work,201D; she said.She said the kind of work people do is very individualised and this meant as we moved towards certain automations, the notion of human contact was being taken away.201C;If you provide somebody with a sex robot and say that you can have this instead of a relationship, you2019;re furthering that loneliness and that sense of isolation.201D;While some of the panellists wondered if the robots could play some role in educating people about sex and their lives, pop culture critic Chuck Klosterman said he thought this was 201C;optimistic201D;.201C;You could look at pornography and say this is a way for a young person to learn about sex before they experience it,201D; he said. 201C;That2019;s not the main reason young people look at pornography.201D;There were also questions about who would control the data that sex robots gathered from the interactions with their owners.201C;Who is buying the data? Is Facebook buying the data to learn more about us on a sexual basis?201D; Ms Goldstein pointed out.201C;Will porn companies be able to tap into what we2019;re doing with these robots?201D;The discussion, which featured speakers from the Festival of Dangerous Ideas and also veered briefly on to questions of where to store sex dolls, seemed to lose many viewers with many describing it on social media as weird and inane.Easieslty the weirdest episode of #QandA evermdash; Anthony Shaw (@AnthonyShaw250) November 5, 2018#QandA Seriously? Homeless people. Working poor. Refugees. Who cares about sex robots.mdash; Theresa Grima (@OsiraOz) November 5, 2018#QandA this sex robot conversation is bordering on the inanemdash; Jane Caro (@JaneCaro) November 5, 2018Tonight’s #qanda is absolutely excruciating. These are some incredibly intelligent panelists, but they are being pushed by the producers into covering way too many topics. These are heavy sociotechnical topics that need focus and time to unpack, and we are just getting hot takes.mdash; Dr Daniel Angus (@antmandan) November 5, 2018I turned @QandA off.. FIRST TIME EVER !! #QandAmdash; MormorLady (@mormorlady) November 5, 2018Meanwhile, performer and sex clown Betty Grumble said she thought the way society was educating kids around sex wasn2019;t right.201C;There is so much shame and sex panic,201D; she said.Ms Grumble said sex and death had become sanitised and controlled in society.201C;It2019;s a way of controlling people,201D; she said. 201C;It2019;s beautiful that we2019;re all so different 2026; the only problem is when we harm others.201D;Ms Grumble said she thought people should confront shame where they saw it and stick up for people and all their weirdness.Australians were still struggling to encourage women to be sexual outside of monogamy, Ms Goldstein noted.201C;I really feel we have a linear model when we look at sex that2019;s influenced by religion: boy meets girl, boy-girl get married, have sex, procreate,201D; she said.The discussion also touched a new social credit system being trialled in China that gives people points or takes them away depending on their behaviour on social media or if they are buying things like alcohol or cigarettes.201C;It is terrifying to see what2019;s happening in China,201D; artificial intelligence researcher Tony Walsh said, saying the system was 201C;really Orwellian201D;.He said China had also developed a facial recognition system called Skynet (yes, like the machine in The Terminator movie) and it could scan a billion faces in a second.201C;They are using it to suppress religious minorities already,201D; Mr Walsh said.201C;If you think we2019;re in Australia and can sit back and relax, our government has just decided they2019;re going to build a national database and everyone2019;s passport photograph and licence photograph, all of your biometrics is going to be in that database for national security purposes.201D;Sophia - The First Robot Citizen of the World。

          oduct that adapts to the person,201D; she said.She described it as a highly personalised vibrator.201C;You can bend it and shape it any way you want and make it vibrate any way you want. We designed it almost in prop form in a sense so that you can almost project your own likes and wants and desires 2014; it can be whatever you want it to be.201D;The biggest hurdle in creating a vibrator that achieved this was getting the technical aspects right, like how it bends.201C;The bend and the way that it holds that shape...we took inspiration from a laptop hinge. If you can bend a laptop so many times and it retains a bit of stiffness,201D; she said.Mystery Vibe had to get inventive to solve the problem of allowing for the wiring that runs the motors to bend. They came up with a solution in-house.201C;We design, we invent, we manufacture, we sell. The whole process. There2019;s technology in here that2019;s actually incredibly advanced,201D; Ms Alys said.The Crescendo is Mystery Vibe's women's sextech product.Source:SuppliedThe reaction from people when she spoke at conferences, like Lisbon2019;s Web Summit, was mixed. There was often nervous, embarrassed laughter, but that soon gave way to curiosity.201C;It normally comes from a place of insecurity and surprise...like 2018;why is this topic being talked about in this forum?2019;201D; she said.She found as soon as the conversation began, people felt almost as if they had permission to talk about sex toys, but the challenge was still to overcome the 201C;social stigmas around sex201D; especially for women.For those that do buy her products, she gets 201C;a lot of happy emails201D;.201C;The thing that touches my heart is when I get emails from someone who says they have been in a relationship for a long time and it has helped them rekindle some of their sexuality or even connect with their partner in a way they didn2019;t before,201D; she said.Men also use her products, such as the Tenuto, which is basically a wearable vibrator for men.201C;The more we looked at the market for penis owners... we realised it was such a ripe space for innovation. I feel like the female side of the market has gone through this incredible revolution from moving from pink, plastic genitalia shaped products to these beautiful designed gorgeous products,201D; Ms Alys said.The Tenuto is Mystery Vibe's men's sextech product.Source:SuppliedThe male side of the market was typically poor-quality material that 201C;tried to mimics vaginas201D;.201C;Many women I spoke to felt so intimidated about bringing those sorts of products into the bedroom,201D; she said.201C;They felt like were being replaced, so we wanted to create something for couples and penis owners they would be pride own and use.201D;The Tenuto certainly looks unusual. Its made of a smooth material 2014; that like the Crescendo bends 2014; to fit around a penis.Ms Alys told news.com.au she hoped Tenuto would change the market and also continue to fuel the changing perception of the sextech industry which is expected to be worth $29 billion by the end of the decade.201C;I think it2019;s very easy with sextech to pick on topics that creates a stir, like sex robots, and its very easy to think of it as kinky people who are doing even more kinky things,201D; she said.201C;But if you look at the sector and what some of us are doing you can actually find some pretty powerful examples of people who aren2019;t able to have a pretty basic sex life suddenly became able too and that2019;s thanks to technology.201D;andrew.koubaridis@news.com.autrending in lifestyle。

          What is polyamory? Here’s what it’s really like to have multiple partners.Source:istockIT SEEMS quite a few people are doing it — with more than one person. As relationship norms shift, the acceptance and popularity of polyamory is growing. So what is it really like to have multiple partners?201C;Humans have been non-monogamous, and practising polyamory, for as long as there have been humans,201D; says Dr Heath Schechinger, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.Before you dismiss the notion as promiscuity slapped with a fancy label or as a neat excuse for the philandering type to justify a wandering eye, consider this: the fourth most popular relationship Google search in 2017 was 2018;what is a poly relationship?2019;The short answer? It2019;s the practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved.Vogue’s latest issue, which explores polyamory in-depth, is on-sale now.Source:Vogue AustraliaPerhaps it2019;s more accurate to define polyamory by what it isn2019;t. It isn2019;t a series of orgies. It isn2019;t polygamy (which is illegal in many places, as that entails being married to more than one person, and overwhelmingly involves men with multiple wives, not vice versa).It isn2019;t simply an open relationship whereby you live largely monogamously, save for the occasional one-night stand after a couple of after-work drinks.201C;This is different from the 2018;player2019;, who is deceiving people or who wants his cake and to eat it too. Part of it is there is an emphasis on being ethical and consensual, so that there is no hiding and no deception,201D; says Dr Schechinger, noting that current data, although scarce, does suggest a fairly equal split in men and women who choose a polyamorous lifestyle.201C;There will be people who say it is just something that guys want, but that doesn2019;t fall in line with the data.201D;The Bachelor is partly responsible for shifting cultural attitudes towards polyamory.Source:SuppliedCurrent figures suggest that around four to five per cent of the US population is in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship (a term that encompasses polyamory as well as swinging and open relationships), and more than one in five people have indicated that at one point they have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.201C;The CNM community is just as big as the LGBT community combined, and in terms of the number of people that have ever practised CNM, it is about as common as the number of people who own a cat,201D; says Schechinger, who is leading the first consensual non-monogamy task force.The real figures could be higher. With millennials and gen Z shunning labels, welcoming non-traditional lifestyles and, in general, demonstrating greater acceptance and open-mindedness about everything from gender stereotypes to who (or how many people) they bed, polyamory is increasingly prevalent.201C;Our culture is more open, we have more time and knowledge about it, we are less stigmatising and becoming more aware of diversity-related issues. I see this as just being another wave on that social justice or diversity-of-awareness trend,201D; says Schechinger.Musician Bethany Meyers and fiance US actor Nico Tortorella have made no secret of their polyamorous relationship.Source:AFPEven screen stars like Nico Tortorella 2014; the heart-throb of the Stan series Younger 2014; has made no secret of his polyamorous relationship with Bethany Meyers, whom he married earlier this year.In a piece she penned for LGBT publication Them, Meyers shed light on their arrangement: 201C;Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn2019;t. It2019;s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realised it2019;s the reason we are impenetrable. It2019;s hard to break something that bends.201D;At the heart of this movement is a big heart. It seems that for the poly community, love isn2019;t a zero-sum game in which loving someone deducts love from another.Soccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends.Source:AAPSoccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends. And going some way to easing the stigma of the notion that loving, or at least having feelings for more than one person, is simply human nature, the potential catches on The Bachelor and, more recently, The Bachelorette have been issuing roses to multiple people since the program first aired in 2002.It2019;s a lot to wrap your head around, particularly from the perspective of a traditional secure monogamous relationship 2014; all the more so if the idea of polyamory was floated to you in said buttoned-up union, as was the case for relationship coach Dr Elisabeth Sheff.201C;It was hard for me to understand how he could envision a life together without what I saw as recognisable commitment and without monogamy. He didn2019;t want to get married. He didn2019;t want to be monogamous, but he wanted to be together. I thought: 2018;What? How? What are you talking about?2019; explains Dr Sheff, who, despite eventually breaking up with her partner, began studying polyamory and has since penned three books on the subject, her most recent titled The Polyamorists Next Door. 201C;It turns out that I2019;m not polyamorous myself. But it can work well for other people. It isn2019;t for everyone, in fact, I would say that it is only for a minority of people. I would think that other forms of non-monogamy that have less emphasis on interaction and emotional sharing are probably a lot easier to manage.201D;What about jealousy? Polyamorists often say it’s not an issue.Source:istockThe other glaringly obvious obstacle in all of this is, of course, jealousy. Are you on board with the fact that the person you love is dating someone else they genuinely love, even if you2019;re doing it too? Some polyamorists in fact experience 2018;compersion2019;, which is often described as the opposite of jealousy 2014; the feeling of being genuinely happy for a loved one who is in love.201C;We2019;re not sure if people experience less jealousy because they are naturally drawn to polyamory, or if polyamory helps reduce jealousy, or if it is a combination of both,201D; says Schechinger.The takeaway? If you2019;re the type who has ever skimmed your significant other2019;s texts, then polyamory probably isn2019;t your jam. 201C;If you have that high level of jealousy receptors, then perhaps don2019;t do consensual non-monogamy, because it2019;s going to hurt you like hell,201D; echoes Dr Sheff.At the end of the day, polyamory is not for everybody.Source:istockFor others, however, uncovering polyamory has been more of an 2018;a-ha2019; moment. Gender-diverse Eve De Zilva discovered polyamory after attending sex-positive workshops at university.201C;I just thought: 2018;That is so for me!2019; I get to live my life to the fullest and connect with as many people as possible,201D; she explains. She has various partners on the go, while her live-in partner of five years, Tom, has just celebrated his one-year anniversary with another woman.She2019;s met Tom2019;s other 2018;plus one2019;: they even hang out. 201C;I really get along with her and we are all new to polyamory and don2019;t have a lot of role models, but it2019;s exciting to problem-solve together and figure out what2019;s best,201D; she explains.That starts, she says, with altering your perception of a textbook romance. 201C;When you have a network of people who are polyamorous, they don2019;t usually want or need to be someone2019;s everything, so it works really well.201D;Ditto boundaries and the line between supportive BFF and loving partner. 201C;It affects the relationship in the way that we care about each other2019;s reality, as a friend and as a lover. But we also try not to get involved where it isn2019;t relevant, that2019;s for sure.201D;Read the full article in Vogue Australia, on sale now, or at vogue.com.au.trending in lifestyle?

          In New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state. But it’s not the same across the country.Source:istockOPINIONLast weekend, I did a favour for a friend of mine.She2019;s a sex worker too, an independent escort who had gone to a hotel in the city for a booking with a client.When she arrived, she texted me the name of the hotel, the room they were in and the time the booking was due to start 2013; and finish. She also texted me the full name of the client and told me that if she hadn2019;t messaged again within fifteen minutes of the time the booking was due to finish, then I should call her immediately and keep calling until she picked up.If she didn2019;t pick up, my next step was to then call the hotel, and the police.This might sound like a pretty intense situation to observe from afar on my casual Saturday night, but it2019;s by no means the first time I2019;ve kept an eye on a fellow sex worker2019;s booking to make sure that they got in and out safely and had someone to call if they ran in to trouble.I imagine that on any given night in any city across the world, there are workers doing the same thing: watching the time tick by on their phone screen and waiting for that text to pop up from their friend, letting them know that the booking went well and they2019;re in a taxi, on their way home.The main difference between what my friend and I did, and what I imagine workers across the globe might have been doing on that same night, is that it was totally legal for her to contact me and let me know that she was working.Related: Will sex robots save the world?Related: The truth about men who visit sex workersRelated: What I learnt during a year of being singleIn New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state, decriminalisation simply means that police are not the ones in charge of regulating the sex industry.While sex workers must be over eighteen and forcing anyone to provide sexual services is against the law, sex workers and adult businesses operate like any other professional service. According to Scarlet Alliance, the industry is regulated by local councils (who control planning and licensing), WorkCover NSW (who oversee occupational health and safety) and NSW Health, who look at all matters relating to public health.New South Wales is the only state in Australia where sex work is fully decriminalised, but the model of decriminalisation is one most sex workers across the world believe creates the best and safest working conditions. It2019;s even been endorsed by Amnesty International, after an extensive amount of research found laws that criminalise sex work not only make workers more vulnerable to exploitation and marginalisation, but make them less likely to approach police for help if they need it.Put simply, a sex worker who is working in a country where sex work is illegal can2019;t go to the police to report a crime committed against them while working, without also dobbing themselves in as having done something illegal too. Related: What are the 2018;rules2019; for relationships?Related: Is casual sex the solution, rather than the problem?Related: This is the worst Australian city to find a dateWhile it2019;s perfectly legal within the state of New South Wales for my friend to ask me to check in on her while she works, that2019;s sadly not the case in every state.In Queensland, for example, two or more sex workers working together, whether it2019;s seeing a client together for a double booking or even just working out of the same hotel, even unknowingly, is considered an offence and can result in criminal penalties.One worker checking in with another as they work is also against the law, as is having a receptionist or even a paid driver who drives more than one worker.If you think this is all beginning to sound a bit ridiculous, you2019;re not alone. After many years of campaigning from sex workers and peer organisations, Queensland is finally beginning to look at decriminalising sex work and removing these restrictive laws: something that feels long overdue.While there2019;s no doubt that the adult industry should be fairly regulated so it can co-exist peacefully alongside other industries, workers in Queensland have been asking for a long time why they face a choice between working legally and working safely. Related: Has sex work ruined my ability to flirt?Related: The six men every sex worker encounters on dating appsRelated: What it was like to have casual sex after almost a year withoutIf the law prevents sex workers from working in a premises with their peers or even messaging fellow workers for help and assistance, it creates an environment in which people who are already vulnerable and marginalised are at risk of becoming even more so.It2019;s bizarre to think that if my friend and I lived in Queensland instead of New South Wales, her simple request that I keep an eye on her during her booking could have resulted in criminal penalties for us both. In every other industry across Australia, laws are put in place to protect the safety of workers: so why not ours?While the majority of sex workers2019; clients are good and kind people, there is always a small chance that the next booking a worker walks in to could be with a client who chooses to be disrespectful, aggressive, or worse.Laws that legitimise and support sex workers go a long way in changing people2019;s attitudes towards us and in turn their behaviour; every sex worker deserves to work in a place where they know that the police would treat them like any other citizen if they were to reach out.As for my friend, she messaged me right on time as she left her booking and then again as she got in to the taxi that took her home. She had a glass of wine, took a shower, and then got in to bed, signing off with a final text before she fell asleep.We were two ordinary women talking about our jobs, having found one of the rare places in the world where it was totally legal and safe for us to do so.2014; Kate Iselin is a writer and sex worker. Continue the conversation @kateiselintrending in lifestyle。

          Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men's names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty ImagesWouldn’t it be handy — albeit a complete violation of one’s privacy — if you could check a list every time you started dating someone, just to make sure they weren’t already married? Well, now single gals in Tanzania may be able to do just that after a governor unveiled plans to create a public database of every engaged and married man2019;s name 2014; in a bid to save single women from 201C;unnecessary heartbreak201D;.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda, the governor of the country2019;s capital city Dar-es-Salaam, said he has received a lot of complaints from women who were abandoned by their lovers after becoming engaged, revealing his plan to help tackle infidelity in the East African country.According to the leader, a database will help prevent men from cheating as once they2019;re married and no longer available, single women will be able to verify that information 2014; saving themselves from suffering a broken heart.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men’s names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty Images201C;I have been receiving complaints from women who have been promised marriage by men, yet the men didn2019;t fulfil the promise. I know women who have been paying bills yet the men walked away 2026;201D; Makonda said in native language Kiswahili during a press conference on Monday, reports CNN.201C;These charming men have been promising to marry them, then ditch the women after using them. This is something that is humiliating.201D;He then went on to detail a proposed database at the regional commissioner2019;s office in each region where 201C;every man who promises a woman marriage, this should be registered201D; in a bid to allow women to check to see whether the person asking was already married.Mr Makonda said the database would include men in Christian, Muslim and customary marriages.The announcement of such extreme measures has been met with a largely negative response, with many on Twitter blasting the idea calling it 201C;nonsense201D;.absolutely nonesense— ing dela hills sewornu ?? ???? (@prospersewornu) August 14, 2019 #Tanzania is to make its database of married men in the country public to help women know the marital status of their partners before they have a serious relationship with them. This came about following the number of women who claim to have been cheated on by men #CheatingMen— okwoche (@okwoche) August 13, 2019 Silly idea to make a data base for all married men. Guys would always cheat if the need arises.— Alfred Steven ??Sober-Man (@alfredsteven9) August 13, 2019 ???????? Good morning! Tanzania state official says plans underway to publicise married men in efforts to tame cheating - Graphic Online https://t.co/xxqXRiS2Ae— Sanaaheneba ???????? ???? (@bkghana) August 14, 2019 The Constitutional court should intervene here..Confidentiality should be upheld..!— Tornado..Veteran 102 (@tyengeni1954) August 13, 2019 What happened to.. right to privacy— Thulani (@thulanii_) August 13, 2019 However there were a few who thought the idea would work, with one praising it as a 201C;good idea201D;.Good idea ????— AFRICAN: Elijah Ngurare (@ngurare) August 13, 2019 Tanzanian news outlet The Citizen reported some men were upset over the plans as there was no suggestion a list of married women would be created.Tanzania isn2019;t the first country to propose a way to expose cheating men, with a governor in neighbouring Kenya vowing to expose politicians who abandon their lovers with children after an affair.Mike Sonko, governor of Nairobi, shared two telephone numbers on his Facebook page and urged women who believes they have been mistreated to contact his office with pictures and evidence of the affairs.201C;From today all great women of this country, if there is an MP, Senator, Governor, civil servant or businessman who has impregnated you and denied responsibility send me their details we expose him and seek DNA tests when he2019;s still alive,201D; Sonko wrote on his Facebook page.What do you think of the plans to create a public list of marriages to prevent cheating? Let us know in the comments below or continue the conversation @RebekahScanlan | rebekah.scanlan@news.com.autrending in lifestyleQamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedWHEN sexologist Nikki Goldstein visited a sex toy trade show in China there was one product that made her particularly uncomfortable.Ms Goldstein explained to panellists on Qamp;A on Monday night that sex dolls can2019;t move independently and have to be carried around, so there is a trend towards making them smaller in size.But when she spotted some dolls that were 201C;smaller in stature201D; in China she said they did ring alarm bells for her about whether they were pedo-bots.201C;They were very cute looking, which was explained to me was not for Western cultures 2014; which was for Asian cultures,201D; she said.201C;It looked too much like a child and I questioned the person selling them. I said 2018;is that a child doll?2019;. My immediate reaction was 2018;this is not right2019;.201D;She said it was explained to her that the doll had small breasts, which meant it was an adult, just in a smaller size but she said it was a 201C;scary issue201D;.Ms Goldstein said technology was not good enough yet to make sex robots that were life-like, which felt or respond like actual humans, making their use more of a fetish.Jude Law (right) and Ashley Scott play sex robots in the Steven Spielberg film AISource:Supplied201C;For a lot of people who do sexually desire a sex robot, we may be looking at techno-sexuality,201D; she said.The desire may actually be for control and the idea that the robot is there purely for their pleasure.201C;I know a lot of people freak out about that and think 2018;what are we teaching people?2019;. Are we teaching them not to engage in consent?201C;Even if we are going to program these AI (artificial intelligence) bots to say no, what2019;s going to happen? Will a gate come down?201D;Are sex robots a true solution for those who struggle with intimacy? #QandA pic.twitter.com/AvIVuuEl9Cmdash; ABC Qamp;A (@QandA) November 5, 2018Qamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedOnce the technology gets better, Ms Goldstein believes the person who would most likely benefit from using a sex robot would be someone who wants some form of intimate connection without having to go to a brothel.However, social commentator Van Badham said providing someone with a sex robot could further loneliness and isolation.201C;You have a phenomenon in Japan of people getting older and older without having sexual relationships, without forming partnerships or families because their lives are dominated by work,201D; she said.She said the kind of work people do is very individualised and this meant as we moved towards certain automations, the notion of human contact was being taken away.201C;If you provide somebody with a sex robot and say that you can have this instead of a relationship, you2019;re furthering that loneliness and that sense of isolation.201D;While some of the panellists wondered if the robots could play some role in educating people about sex and their lives, pop culture critic Chuck Klosterman said he thought this was 201C;optimistic201D;.201C;You could look at pornography and say this is a way for a young person to learn about sex before they experience it,201D; he said. 201C;That2019;s not the main reason young people look at pornography.201D;There were also questions about who would control the data that sex robots gathered from the interactions with their owners.201C;Who is buying the data? Is Facebook buying the data to learn more about us on a sexual basis?201D; Ms Goldstein pointed out.201C;Will porn companies be able to tap into what we2019;re doing with these robots?201D;The discussion, which featured speakers from the Festival of Dangerous Ideas and also veered briefly on to questions of where to store sex dolls, seemed to lose many viewers with many describing it on social media as weird and inane.Easieslty the weirdest episode of #QandA evermdash; Anthony Shaw (@AnthonyShaw250) November 5, 2018#QandA Seriously? Homeless people. Working poor. Refugees. Who cares about sex robots.mdash; Theresa Grima (@OsiraOz) November 5, 2018#QandA this sex robot conversation is bordering on the inanemdash; Jane Caro (@JaneCaro) November 5, 2018Tonight’s #qanda is absolutely excruciating. These are some incredibly intelligent panelists, but they are being pushed by the producers into covering way too many topics. These are heavy sociotechnical topics that need focus and time to unpack, and we are just getting hot takes.mdash; Dr Daniel Angus (@antmandan) November 5, 2018I turned @QandA off.. FIRST TIME EVER !! #QandAmdash; MormorLady (@mormorlady) November 5, 2018Meanwhile, performer and sex clown Betty Grumble said she thought the way society was educating kids around sex wasn2019;t right.201C;There is so much shame and sex panic,201D; she said.Ms Grumble said sex and death had become sanitised and controlled in society.201C;It2019;s a way of controlling people,201D; she said. 201C;It2019;s beautiful that we2019;re all so different 2026; the only problem is when we harm others.201D;Ms Grumble said she thought people should confront shame where they saw it and stick up for people and all their weirdness.Australians were still struggling to encourage women to be sexual outside of monogamy, Ms Goldstein noted.201C;I really feel we have a linear model when we look at sex that2019;s influenced by religion: boy meets girl, boy-girl get married, have sex, procreate,201D; she said.The discussion also touched a new social credit system being trialled in China that gives people points or takes them away depending on their behaviour on social media or if they are buying things like alcohol or cigarettes.201C;It is terrifying to see what2019;s happening in China,201D; artificial intelligence researcher Tony Walsh said, saying the system was 201C;really Orwellian201D;.He said China had also developed a facial recognition system called Skynet (yes, like the machine in The Terminator movie) and it could scan a billion faces in a second.201C;They are using it to suppress religious minorities already,201D; Mr Walsh said.201C;If you think we2019;re in Australia and can sit back and relax, our government has just decided they2019;re going to build a national database and everyone2019;s passport photograph and licence photograph, all of your biometrics is going to be in that database for national security purposes.201D;Sophia - The First Robot Citizen of the World。

          She said she was a young woman seeking love, and she was gorgeous. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:Supplied Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to catfishing and online deception.QUESTION: I couldn2019;t believe my luck when I met an incredible woman online. She contacted me on Tinder, but we quickly took things off-platform, texting until the early hours every night. She was easily the most beautiful woman who has ever spoken to me 2014; I2019;m not the most popular man when it comes to the ladies. I couldn2019;t believe the connection I felt to her, even though we2019;d never actually spoken before (she told me the microphone on her phone was broken so we could only text, not speak). After months of chatting, she finally agreed to fly from Perth to Melbourne so we could meet in person, but on the day, everything went wrong 2014; her car broke down and she missed her flight and had no money to buy a new one, so I sent her some cash, about $4000 in total. I waited at the airport but she never showed up and hasn2019;t answered any of my texts since. I am heartbroken and also so embarrassed. Was I catfished? Do I have any legal rights? 2014; Paul, MelbourneANSWER: Catfishing is the term used to describe deception about someone2019;s identity online, usually with an ulterior motive.As in your case, it2019;s often used in online dating to pursue someone romantically under false pretences or to bully someone on social media.RELATED: Help! My landlord keeps 2018;dropping in2019; unannouncedRELATED: Help! My neighbour is secretly filming meRELATED: My boss hit on me and then made me redundantDo you ever really know who you're chatting to online? Picture: Rohit Tandon/UnsplashSource:SuppliedCatfishing itself is not a crime under the law, however it will be considered illegal in certain circumstances.Every state and territory has laws making fraudulent behaviour a crime, with hefty financial penalties and jail time.For catfishing to be classified as fraud under the law, it would need to be shown that:2022; By deception, the 201C;catfish201D; acted dishonestly;2022; The conduct caused a financial advantage over the other person or caused them to suffer a disadvantage;2022; The conduct was intentional or reckless.Tracking down this woman2019;s real identity (assuming she was even a woman) can be very difficult, let alone proving the elements of fraud to allow criminal charges to be laid.Catfishing may also violate the terms of use of the particular social media or dating platform, so you should report the woman2019;s profile to Tinder ensure her profile is suspended immediately.Unfortunately, you2019;re not the first person to fall for a catfishing scam, with celebrity Casey Donovan also being a victim.Celebrities have also had their identities stolen in order to catfish unsuspecting victims.Criminal charges can also be laid where the catfish uses fraud to procure or engage in sexual activity.Other more serious charges may apply to people who prey on children online to cause them harm, engage or procure sexual activity. Dubbed 201C;Carly2019;s Law201D;, these laws follow the campaigning of concerned mother Sonia Ryan whose 15-year-old daughter was murdered in 2007 by a man posing online as an 18-year-old musician.In relation to the money that you provided her, if your intention was to loan her the money then you may be able to get this back from her.To do so, you must send her a letter of demand (after you have identified who she is), setting out that she owes you $4000 and asking that it be repaid within a certain time frame, otherwise legal action will be taken.She said she was a young woman seeking love and was the girl of his dreams. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:SuppliedIf she doesn2019;t respond then each state and territory has different rules about how to recover money owed to you.In Victoria, you2019;re able to begin proceedings in the Magistrate2019;s Court to recover debts up to $100,000. This is also the case in South Australia.For those living in other states and territories, such as Queensland, or the ACT where the amount is less than $25,000 ($10,000 in the Northern Territory), then a claim can be lodged with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.To lodge a claim with the tribunal or court, you must prepare a claim document that has:2022; The full name, and address, of the person or business who owes you money;2022; Details of the debt, including the date and place it happened, the amount, the terms of the agreement (including when it was to be paid back and whether it was a written or verbal agreement);2022; Any supporting documents, such as a copy of the agreement, and evidence showing the transfer of the money or goods (for example, bank statements);2022; Details of the amount you are trying to recover, plus any additional costs or interest.You must then serve the claim on the person who owes you money, and you may have to prove you provided her with the documents. The time frame for her to respond is 21 days in Victoria but between 21 and 30 days in other states and territories.If your catfisher fails to respond, you can ask the court or tribunal to make a decision in your favour. You may otherwise be required to attend the court or tribunal and argue why you should be repaid.If, ultimately, the debt is ordered to be repaid, then your catfisher may agree to repay the debt in instalments. If the debt is not repaid, then you may make a further application to the court or tribunal to:2022; Seize and sell property 2014; the property must be sold by public auction and for a reasonable price;2022; Redirect debts 2014; if your catfisher is owed money by someone else, this can instead be ordered to be given to you instead;2022; Redirect earnings 2014; your catfisher2019;s employer can be ordered to pay most of her wage to you leaving only necessary living expenses (social security payments cannot be redirected);2022; Redirect other money 2014; if she has money in a bank account or is due to receive money for rental income, then this can be paid;2022; Petition for the bankruptcy of your catfisher.If your catfisher does repay some of the debt, then always keep records and provide a receipt. Electronic transfers or a bank cheque are often a safer option rather than handing money over in a briefcase.There are strict time limits to recover a debt, so you should not delay in taking action.This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email stories@news.com.autrending in lifestyle,This is what your sex dreams actually mean.Source:Getty ImagesSEX dreams don’t just happen to teenage boys — most of us have dreamt about getting passionate between the sheets with someone we know.But it2019;s not always with our partners 2014; as both familiar and unknown faces can creep into our dirty dreams.If you2019;ve dreamt about being in the sack with someone you know it can be very awkward to look them in the eye the morning after 2014; even though they don2019;t have a clue.And it2019;s even more cringe-worthy when it2019;s your boss.To explain what all these dreams mean, Hilda Burke, couples counsellor and author of The Phone Addiction Workbook, revealed the most popular sex dreams.And surprisingly, she told Cosmopolitan that sex isn2019;t the most common thing people dream about.SEX WITH A CELEBRITYWe all got our celebrity crush, and if you2019;re Ross from Friends you2019;ll have The List too.Getting kinky with a celebrity is an interesting one, Hilda says, as we don2019;t actually know them.Rather it2019;s the qualities we project on to them which we find attractive.She said: 201C;They2019;re either nice, or not nice, or cold, or ambitious.201C;Most of us have an instinctive feel about celebrities 2014; true or false 2014; and we imagine them to be a certain way.201D;This means when you dream about them it could be subconsciously you2019;re telling yourself what qualities you2019;re really looking for in a partner.SEX WITH YOUR BOSSNow, this dream can be tricky and it can make meetings quite awkward.Hilda says dreaming about sleeping with your boss is actually quite common but probably says more about your career than your colleague.Hilda said: 201C;Maybe in real life you2019;re thinking about taking a step up at work, and this dream could be a connection with a part of you that2019;s willing to climb the ladder.201C;Your boss can symbolise that you2019;re ready for something new.201D;Time to work harder for that promotion, or start looking for a new job.SEX WITH A GENDER YOU2019;RE NOT USUALLY ATTRACTED TOFor people who are only attracted to one gender, it can be a novel experience dreaming about the other.Hilda says it doesn2019;t necessarily mean you2019;re bisexual or gay, you might just admire the qualities in that person.She said: 201C;If it is someone of the same sex, for example your female boss, ask yourself if you2019;re slightly attracted to her.201C;If not, it might be a part of what you see is she2019;s really independent, successful 2014; that2019;s the attraction. It2019;s like you want something she has.201C;These dreams usually mean they hold something that you want to connect with, within yourself.201D;SEX WITH A FRIENDYou may have never looked at your friend in a sexual light 2014; until now.They may not be your type and you might not fancy them but that doesn2019;t stop you having a sexy dream about them.Hilda says: 201C;Sometimes with these kind of dreams you might think you don2019;t want to think about any further, but it can be interesting to look under the surface at what it represents, especially if you wouldn2019;t ever fantasise about them in real life.201D;SEX WITH SOMEONE FROM YOUR PASTIf you find yourself dreaming about someone you went to school, college or university with, it can be quite symbolic, Hilda says.And if it2019;s someone who you2019;d normally not look twice at, it has even more meaning.Hilda revealed: 201C;Think, 2018;What does that person represent? What were they like at school?201C;Were they really popular or the geeky one? How do you feel about that?201C;Maybe there2019;s a part of you that feels really geeky, and this person could symbolise a part of you.201D;SEX WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNERMost people may fear this is a precursor to cheating but relax 2014; it isn2019;t.Hilda says if you dream about the fittie from the gym then that2019;s normal, it2019;s simple 2018;wish fulfilment2019;.But if you dream about a stranger, that2019;s when you need to think twice.She said: 201C;if you2019;re imagining having sex with a random person who you2019;d never thought of in a sexual way, then you need think about what that person represents.201D;This article originally appeared on The Sun and has been republished here with permission. trending in lifestyle、She said she was a young woman seeking love, and she was gorgeous. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:Supplied Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to catfishing and online deception.QUESTION: I couldn2019;t believe my luck when I met an incredible woman online. She contacted me on Tinder, but we quickly took things off-platform, texting until the early hours every night. She was easily the most beautiful woman who has ever spoken to me 2014; I2019;m not the most popular man when it comes to the ladies. I couldn2019;t believe the connection I felt to her, even though we2019;d never actually spoken before (she told me the microphone on her phone was broken so we could only text, not speak). After months of chatting, she finally agreed to fly from Perth to Melbourne so we could meet in person, but on the day, everything went wrong 2014; her car broke down and she missed her flight and had no money to buy a new one, so I sent her some cash, about $4000 in total. I waited at the airport but she never showed up and hasn2019;t answered any of my texts since. I am heartbroken and also so embarrassed. Was I catfished? Do I have any legal rights? 2014; Paul, MelbourneANSWER: Catfishing is the term used to describe deception about someone2019;s identity online, usually with an ulterior motive.As in your case, it2019;s often used in online dating to pursue someone romantically under false pretences or to bully someone on social media.RELATED: Help! My landlord keeps 2018;dropping in2019; unannouncedRELATED: Help! My neighbour is secretly filming meRELATED: My boss hit on me and then made me redundantDo you ever really know who you're chatting to online? Picture: Rohit Tandon/UnsplashSource:SuppliedCatfishing itself is not a crime under the law, however it will be considered illegal in certain circumstances.Every state and territory has laws making fraudulent behaviour a crime, with hefty financial penalties and jail time.For catfishing to be classified as fraud under the law, it would need to be shown that:2022; By deception, the 201C;catfish201D; acted dishonestly;2022; The conduct caused a financial advantage over the other person or caused them to suffer a disadvantage;2022; The conduct was intentional or reckless.Tracking down this woman2019;s real identity (assuming she was even a woman) can be very difficult, let alone proving the elements of fraud to allow criminal charges to be laid.Catfishing may also violate the terms of use of the particular social media or dating platform, so you should report the woman2019;s profile to Tinder ensure her profile is suspended immediately.Unfortunately, you2019;re not the first person to fall for a catfishing scam, with celebrity Casey Donovan also being a victim.Celebrities have also had their identities stolen in order to catfish unsuspecting victims.Criminal charges can also be laid where the catfish uses fraud to procure or engage in sexual activity.Other more serious charges may apply to people who prey on children online to cause them harm, engage or procure sexual activity. Dubbed 201C;Carly2019;s Law201D;, these laws follow the campaigning of concerned mother Sonia Ryan whose 15-year-old daughter was murdered in 2007 by a man posing online as an 18-year-old musician.In relation to the money that you provided her, if your intention was to loan her the money then you may be able to get this back from her.To do so, you must send her a letter of demand (after you have identified who she is), setting out that she owes you $4000 and asking that it be repaid within a certain time frame, otherwise legal action will be taken.She said she was a young woman seeking love and was the girl of his dreams. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:SuppliedIf she doesn2019;t respond then each state and territory has different rules about how to recover money owed to you.In Victoria, you2019;re able to begin proceedings in the Magistrate2019;s Court to recover debts up to $100,000. This is also the case in South Australia.For those living in other states and territories, such as Queensland, or the ACT where the amount is less than $25,000 ($10,000 in the Northern Territory), then a claim can be lodged with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.To lodge a claim with the tribunal or court, you must prepare a claim document that has:2022; The full name, and address, of the person or business who owes you money;2022; Details of the debt, including the date and place it happened, the amount, the terms of the agreement (including when it was to be paid back and whether it was a written or verbal agreement);2022; Any supporting documents, such as a copy of the agreement, and evidence showing the transfer of the money or goods (for example, bank statements);2022; Details of the amount you are trying to recover, plus any additional costs or interest.You must then serve the claim on the person who owes you money, and you may have to prove you provided her with the documents. The time frame for her to respond is 21 days in Victoria but between 21 and 30 days in other states and territories.If your catfisher fails to respond, you can ask the court or tribunal to make a decision in your favour. You may otherwise be required to attend the court or tribunal and argue why you should be repaid.If, ultimately, the debt is ordered to be repaid, then your catfisher may agree to repay the debt in instalments. If the debt is not repaid, then you may make a further application to the court or tribunal to:2022; Seize and sell property 2014; the property must be sold by public auction and for a reasonable price;2022; Redirect debts 2014; if your catfisher is owed money by someone else, this can instead be ordered to be given to you instead;2022; Redirect earnings 2014; your catfisher2019;s employer can be ordered to pay most of her wage to you leaving only necessary living expenses (social security payments cannot be redirected);2022; Redirect other money 2014; if she has money in a bank account or is due to receive money for rental income, then this can be paid;2022; Petition for the bankruptcy of your catfisher.If your catfisher does repay some of the debt, then always keep records and provide a receipt. Electronic transfers or a bank cheque are often a safer option rather than handing money over in a briefcase.There are strict time limits to recover a debt, so you should not delay in taking action.This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email stories@news.com.autrending in lifestyle

          This is what your sex dreams actually mean.Source:Getty ImagesSEX dreams don’t just happen to teenage boys — most of us have dreamt about getting passionate between the sheets with someone we know.But it2019;s not always with our partners 2014; as both familiar and unknown faces can creep into our dirty dreams.If you2019;ve dreamt about being in the sack with someone you know it can be very awkward to look them in the eye the morning after 2014; even though they don2019;t have a clue.And it2019;s even more cringe-worthy when it2019;s your boss.To explain what all these dreams mean, Hilda Burke, couples counsellor and author of The Phone Addiction Workbook, revealed the most popular sex dreams.And surprisingly, she told Cosmopolitan that sex isn2019;t the most common thing people dream about.SEX WITH A CELEBRITYWe all got our celebrity crush, and if you2019;re Ross from Friends you2019;ll have The List too.Getting kinky with a celebrity is an interesting one, Hilda says, as we don2019;t actually know them.Rather it2019;s the qualities we project on to them which we find attractive.She said: 201C;They2019;re either nice, or not nice, or cold, or ambitious.201C;Most of us have an instinctive feel about celebrities 2014; true or false 2014; and we imagine them to be a certain way.201D;This means when you dream about them it could be subconsciously you2019;re telling yourself what qualities you2019;re really looking for in a partner.SEX WITH YOUR BOSSNow, this dream can be tricky and it can make meetings quite awkward.Hilda says dreaming about sleeping with your boss is actually quite common but probably says more about your career than your colleague.Hilda said: 201C;Maybe in real life you2019;re thinking about taking a step up at work, and this dream could be a connection with a part of you that2019;s willing to climb the ladder.201C;Your boss can symbolise that you2019;re ready for something new.201D;Time to work harder for that promotion, or start looking for a new job.SEX WITH A GENDER YOU2019;RE NOT USUALLY ATTRACTED TOFor people who are only attracted to one gender, it can be a novel experience dreaming about the other.Hilda says it doesn2019;t necessarily mean you2019;re bisexual or gay, you might just admire the qualities in that person.She said: 201C;If it is someone of the same sex, for example your female boss, ask yourself if you2019;re slightly attracted to her.201C;If not, it might be a part of what you see is she2019;s really independent, successful 2014; that2019;s the attraction. It2019;s like you want something she has.201C;These dreams usually mean they hold something that you want to connect with, within yourself.201D;SEX WITH A FRIENDYou may have never looked at your friend in a sexual light 2014; until now.They may not be your type and you might not fancy them but that doesn2019;t stop you having a sexy dream about them.Hilda says: 201C;Sometimes with these kind of dreams you might think you don2019;t want to think about any further, but it can be interesting to look under the surface at what it represents, especially if you wouldn2019;t ever fantasise about them in real life.201D;SEX WITH SOMEONE FROM YOUR PASTIf you find yourself dreaming about someone you went to school, college or university with, it can be quite symbolic, Hilda says.And if it2019;s someone who you2019;d normally not look twice at, it has even more meaning.Hilda revealed: 201C;Think, 2018;What does that person represent? What were they like at school?201C;Were they really popular or the geeky one? How do you feel about that?201C;Maybe there2019;s a part of you that feels really geeky, and this person could symbolise a part of you.201D;SEX WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNERMost people may fear this is a precursor to cheating but relax 2014; it isn2019;t.Hilda says if you dream about the fittie from the gym then that2019;s normal, it2019;s simple 2018;wish fulfilment2019;.But if you dream about a stranger, that2019;s when you need to think twice.She said: 201C;if you2019;re imagining having sex with a random person who you2019;d never thought of in a sexual way, then you need think about what that person represents.201D;This article originally appeared on The Sun and has been republished here with permission. trending in lifestyle

          A sex worker has revealed exactly which type of men pay for sex.Source:News LimitedAT THE top of the list of things that sex workers hear all the time — along with, “But what’s your real name?” — has to be, “Wow, I bet you get so many weirdos in here. You must be really glad to see a normal guy like me.”All it takes is a quick look at any media featuring sex workers to see where people would get the idea that most of our clients are creeps.Films and television shows cast clients as either sinister perverts who slither around in the darkness waiting for workers to attend to them with a whip and a cane, or drug-addled millionaires looking for more Barbie-lookalikes to fill their yachts with for the weekend.Then there2019;s the way sex workers are represented in the news. We2019;ve all seen the stock photo: a hand extended from a car window, beckoning a pair of legs toward it.It2019;s not only a factually-incorrect representation of what sex work actually is 2014; in Australia, at least, street-based work is not as common as brothel or private work 2014; but it also feels cruelly dehumanising to both the client and the worker.We2019;re a lot more than just a disembodied pair of fishnet stockings standing on the footpath somewhere, and our clients, too, are more than just a hand waving in the darkness.Sure, not every client is perfect. Some are far from it. I could share a horror story or two about some who2019;ve neglected to shower before their visit, or others who completely disregard the boundaries that exist between any service worker and their clients (201C;You should tell me your address,201D; one man said, 201C;So I can visit you at home and you can see me for free there!201D;).What kind of guy visits a sex worker, anyway?Source:SuppliedMORE: What it2019;s like to have casual sexMORE: What you get when you pay for sexI2019;ve had friends who have struggled to deal with clients who got too attached and needed club management or the police to intervene on their behalf. During those times I was infinitely glad to work in a state where sex work was decriminalised, so the police could be contacted without the worker worrying that they were also endangering themselves.But clients like these are, thankfully, rare.The majority of people who visit sex workers 2014; whether they visit strip clubs, brothels, see private workers, or simply download some good, old-fashioned porn 2014; are as normal and average as you and me.They have jobs, and hobbies, and families, and social lives, just like anyone else. Some are hilariously funny, and others are impressively smart. Plenty are great conversationalists, and a huge majority are respectful, caring, and kind.So why does the myth continue to exist? Why do we think all clients of sex workers are nasty creeps? I believe it2019;s the heavy stigma around sex work that carries over to our clients, too: it makes sense that someone who thinks sex workers are immoral and disgusting would also feel the same about the people who pay to spend time with us. This, I think, comes from fear. If it2019;s difficult for some people to comprehend being a sex worker, or seeing one, it2019;s understandable that their first instinct would be judgment and fear.To be fair, sex workers provide a luxury service. Although we might be important to many, we2019;re hardly a necessity in the same class as food, shelter, and water.There are far more marginalised groups of people than those who are clients of sex workers, but the belief that our clients are bad people is damaging not only to our clients themselves, but to the sex industry as a whole.The Nordic Model, which aims to combat human trafficking by criminalising the purchasing of sex instead of the selling, has frequently had harmful results for sex workers in Nordic countries.‘The majority of people who visit sex workers are as normal as you and me.’Source:News LimitedBut the belief at its core 2014; that those who pay for consensual sexual services deserve to be treated as criminals while those who sell them need to be moved out of the industry in which they choose to work 2014; exists because of the stigma not just against workers, but our clients as well.I wish that anyone who looks down on the sex industry could meet some of the better clients I2019;ve had over my time working. The young man who spent hours assembling a romantic playlist on his iPod and gave me full-body massages to John Legend2019;s All of Me. The gentleman who casually asked me how I take my coffee, and then brought me a soy lattE9; every time he came to visit from then on. The kind man who handed me a wad of money and encouraged me to take some time off work after a dramatic breakup with a boyfriend. And the studious and successful man stayed back after a booking to let me ask him career advice once I found out that he worked in the field I wanted to get in to.There was one gentleman who read some of my writing and realised that he had booked me at a brothel some years ago, and got in touch to tell me that he enjoyed reading what I had written and hoped we might be able to meet again in the future.When we were both in the same city, we did meet up 2014; he took me out to a lovely lunch overlooking the water and we shared a glass of wine and caught up on each other2019;s lives. After our meal he patiently held my handbag while I freshened up in the bathroom; and we walked along the sunny city streets towards his hotel.To anyone who walked past us, we would2019;ve looked like nothing more than two average, every day people. And really, isn2019;t that all we were?Kate Iselin is a writer and sex worker. Continue the conversation on Twitter @kateiselintrending in lifestyle?

          Big mistake with Twitter cheat expose. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterThere’s nothing quite like the world of Twitter getting behind you. But what happens when social media users turn detective 2014; and get it totally wrong?That2019;s what happened to Twitter user Saint Keny who has gone massively viral after she spotted a photo of what appeared to be her boyfriend with another woman.It all started innocently enough. A woman posted a selfie of her hugging a very ripped man, his identity protected by a strategically placed love heart eyes emoji positioned over his head.201C;Men with this physique really do something to me,201D; the tweet read.The photo that sparked a Twitter frenzy to expose a suspected ‘cheat’. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterBut the woman apparently didn2019;t think to cover up the distinctive tattoos across his chest and upper arms and was quickly contacted by another woman.201C;This is my current boyfriend 2026; When was this picture taken?201D; she asked, calling on the original poster to provide her 201C;receipts201D;.She also added she2019;d be able to identify him just one of his fingers in the snap.What unfolded next was a full-blown investigation, with Twitter users donning their detective caps to try to uncover if the man in question was a 201C;cheater201D;.When one zoomed in on the magazines stacked on a shelf behind and matched it to a cover dated February 2019, the Twitter world swung its axe.201C;He would have gotten away with it too if it weren2019;t for Twitter,201D; one person wrote.201C;That2019;s what is referred to as a well worn train track,201D; another said.201C;Damn, that2019;s some detective work right there,201D; a stunned user declared.Once Saint Keny spotted what she thought was her boyfriend, the internet went crazy trying to prove he was involved in the suspicious encounter. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterWhen someone was able to match the magazine covers in the background and date them, many presumed the case was closed. Picture: TwitterSource:TwitterBut that2019;s not where the viral expose thread 2014; which has had more than 83,000 retweets and 320,000 likes 2014; ends.After her boyfriend was slammed on the social media platform for his alleged philanderous ways, Saint Keny decided to address the claims, revealing it wasn2019;t an open and shut case.201C;Just for the record this man never cheated on me. We2019;ve only been dating for 2 months. And only got serious in the last two weeks,201D; she wrote.just for the record this man never cheated on me ?????♀? we’ve only been dating for 2 months. And only got serious in the last two weeks ?????♀? pic.twitter.com/m1RYsfKLj2— Saint Mother Keny (@KenyDaNinja) August 5, 2019 She also shared a snap of her cuddling up to him while on a boat, adding she blamed herself for the social media storm as she 201C;antagonised201D; the situation.The revelation has shocked many, with people calling the CSI turn of events 201C;ridiculous201D; and 201C;savage201D;.201C;This is a total mess,201D; another said, which just about sums it up.Continue the conversation @RebekahScanlan | rebekah.scanlan@news.com.autrending in lifestyle?

          What is polyamory? Here’s what it’s really like to have multiple partners.Source:istockIT SEEMS quite a few people are doing it — with more than one person. As relationship norms shift, the acceptance and popularity of polyamory is growing. So what is it really like to have multiple partners?201C;Humans have been non-monogamous, and practising polyamory, for as long as there have been humans,201D; says Dr Heath Schechinger, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.Before you dismiss the notion as promiscuity slapped with a fancy label or as a neat excuse for the philandering type to justify a wandering eye, consider this: the fourth most popular relationship Google search in 2017 was 2018;what is a poly relationship?2019;The short answer? It2019;s the practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved.Vogue’s latest issue, which explores polyamory in-depth, is on-sale now.Source:Vogue AustraliaPerhaps it2019;s more accurate to define polyamory by what it isn2019;t. It isn2019;t a series of orgies. It isn2019;t polygamy (which is illegal in many places, as that entails being married to more than one person, and overwhelmingly involves men with multiple wives, not vice versa).It isn2019;t simply an open relationship whereby you live largely monogamously, save for the occasional one-night stand after a couple of after-work drinks.201C;This is different from the 2018;player2019;, who is deceiving people or who wants his cake and to eat it too. Part of it is there is an emphasis on being ethical and consensual, so that there is no hiding and no deception,201D; says Dr Schechinger, noting that current data, although scarce, does suggest a fairly equal split in men and women who choose a polyamorous lifestyle.201C;There will be people who say it is just something that guys want, but that doesn2019;t fall in line with the data.201D;The Bachelor is partly responsible for shifting cultural attitudes towards polyamory.Source:SuppliedCurrent figures suggest that around four to five per cent of the US population is in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship (a term that encompasses polyamory as well as swinging and open relationships), and more than one in five people have indicated that at one point they have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.201C;The CNM community is just as big as the LGBT community combined, and in terms of the number of people that have ever practised CNM, it is about as common as the number of people who own a cat,201D; says Schechinger, who is leading the first consensual non-monogamy task force.The real figures could be higher. With millennials and gen Z shunning labels, welcoming non-traditional lifestyles and, in general, demonstrating greater acceptance and open-mindedness about everything from gender stereotypes to who (or how many people) they bed, polyamory is increasingly prevalent.201C;Our culture is more open, we have more time and knowledge about it, we are less stigmatising and becoming more aware of diversity-related issues. I see this as just being another wave on that social justice or diversity-of-awareness trend,201D; says Schechinger.Musician Bethany Meyers and fiance US actor Nico Tortorella have made no secret of their polyamorous relationship.Source:AFPEven screen stars like Nico Tortorella 2014; the heart-throb of the Stan series Younger 2014; has made no secret of his polyamorous relationship with Bethany Meyers, whom he married earlier this year.In a piece she penned for LGBT publication Them, Meyers shed light on their arrangement: 201C;Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn2019;t. It2019;s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realised it2019;s the reason we are impenetrable. It2019;s hard to break something that bends.201D;At the heart of this movement is a big heart. It seems that for the poly community, love isn2019;t a zero-sum game in which loving someone deducts love from another.Soccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends.Source:AAPSoccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends. And going some way to easing the stigma of the notion that loving, or at least having feelings for more than one person, is simply human nature, the potential catches on The Bachelor and, more recently, The Bachelorette have been issuing roses to multiple people since the program first aired in 2002.It2019;s a lot to wrap your head around, particularly from the perspective of a traditional secure monogamous relationship 2014; all the more so if the idea of polyamory was floated to you in said buttoned-up union, as was the case for relationship coach Dr Elisabeth Sheff.201C;It was hard for me to understand how he could envision a life together without what I saw as recognisable commitment and without monogamy. He didn2019;t want to get married. He didn2019;t want to be monogamous, but he wanted to be together. I thought: 2018;What? How? What are you talking about?2019; explains Dr Sheff, who, despite eventually breaking up with her partner, began studying polyamory and has since penned three books on the subject, her most recent titled The Polyamorists Next Door. 201C;It turns out that I2019;m not polyamorous myself. But it can work well for other people. It isn2019;t for everyone, in fact, I would say that it is only for a minority of people. I would think that other forms of non-monogamy that have less emphasis on interaction and emotional sharing are probably a lot easier to manage.201D;What about jealousy? Polyamorists often say it’s not an issue.Source:istockThe other glaringly obvious obstacle in all of this is, of course, jealousy. Are you on board with the fact that the person you love is dating someone else they genuinely love, even if you2019;re doing it too? Some polyamorists in fact experience 2018;compersion2019;, which is often described as the opposite of jealousy 2014; the feeling of being genuinely happy for a loved one who is in love.201C;We2019;re not sure if people experience less jealousy because they are naturally drawn to polyamory, or if polyamory helps reduce jealousy, or if it is a combination of both,201D; says Schechinger.The takeaway? If you2019;re the type who has ever skimmed your significant other2019;s texts, then polyamory probably isn2019;t your jam. 201C;If you have that high level of jealousy receptors, then perhaps don2019;t do consensual non-monogamy, because it2019;s going to hurt you like hell,201D; echoes Dr Sheff.At the end of the day, polyamory is not for everybody.Source:istockFor others, however, uncovering polyamory has been more of an 2018;a-ha2019; moment. Gender-diverse Eve De Zilva discovered polyamory after attending sex-positive workshops at university.201C;I just thought: 2018;That is so for me!2019; I get to live my life to the fullest and connect with as many people as possible,201D; she explains. She has various partners on the go, while her live-in partner of five years, Tom, has just celebrated his one-year anniversary with another woman.She2019;s met Tom2019;s other 2018;plus one2019;: they even hang out. 201C;I really get along with her and we are all new to polyamory and don2019;t have a lot of role models, but it2019;s exciting to problem-solve together and figure out what2019;s best,201D; she explains.That starts, she says, with altering your perception of a textbook romance. 201C;When you have a network of people who are polyamorous, they don2019;t usually want or need to be someone2019;s everything, so it works really well.201D;Ditto boundaries and the line between supportive BFF and loving partner. 201C;It affects the relationship in the way that we care about each other2019;s reality, as a friend and as a lover. But we also try not to get involved where it isn2019;t relevant, that2019;s for sure.201D;Read the full article in Vogue Australia, on sale now, or at vogue.com.au.trending in lifestyle,What is polyamory? Here’s what it’s really like to have multiple partners.Source:istockIT SEEMS quite a few people are doing it — with more than one person. As relationship norms shift, the acceptance and popularity of polyamory is growing. So what is it really like to have multiple partners?201C;Humans have been non-monogamous, and practising polyamory, for as long as there have been humans,201D; says Dr Heath Schechinger, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.Before you dismiss the notion as promiscuity slapped with a fancy label or as a neat excuse for the philandering type to justify a wandering eye, consider this: the fourth most popular relationship Google search in 2017 was 2018;what is a poly relationship?2019;The short answer? It2019;s the practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved.Vogue’s latest issue, which explores polyamory in-depth, is on-sale now.Source:Vogue AustraliaPerhaps it2019;s more accurate to define polyamory by what it isn2019;t. It isn2019;t a series of orgies. It isn2019;t polygamy (which is illegal in many places, as that entails being married to more than one person, and overwhelmingly involves men with multiple wives, not vice versa).It isn2019;t simply an open relationship whereby you live largely monogamously, save for the occasional one-night stand after a couple of after-work drinks.201C;This is different from the 2018;player2019;, who is deceiving people or who wants his cake and to eat it too. Part of it is there is an emphasis on being ethical and consensual, so that there is no hiding and no deception,201D; says Dr Schechinger, noting that current data, although scarce, does suggest a fairly equal split in men and women who choose a polyamorous lifestyle.201C;There will be people who say it is just something that guys want, but that doesn2019;t fall in line with the data.201D;The Bachelor is partly responsible for shifting cultural attitudes towards polyamory.Source:SuppliedCurrent figures suggest that around four to five per cent of the US population is in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship (a term that encompasses polyamory as well as swinging and open relationships), and more than one in five people have indicated that at one point they have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.201C;The CNM community is just as big as the LGBT community combined, and in terms of the number of people that have ever practised CNM, it is about as common as the number of people who own a cat,201D; says Schechinger, who is leading the first consensual non-monogamy task force.The real figures could be higher. With millennials and gen Z shunning labels, welcoming non-traditional lifestyles and, in general, demonstrating greater acceptance and open-mindedness about everything from gender stereotypes to who (or how many people) they bed, polyamory is increasingly prevalent.201C;Our culture is more open, we have more time and knowledge about it, we are less stigmatising and becoming more aware of diversity-related issues. I see this as just being another wave on that social justice or diversity-of-awareness trend,201D; says Schechinger.Musician Bethany Meyers and fiance US actor Nico Tortorella have made no secret of their polyamorous relationship.Source:AFPEven screen stars like Nico Tortorella 2014; the heart-throb of the Stan series Younger 2014; has made no secret of his polyamorous relationship with Bethany Meyers, whom he married earlier this year.In a piece she penned for LGBT publication Them, Meyers shed light on their arrangement: 201C;Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn2019;t. It2019;s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realised it2019;s the reason we are impenetrable. It2019;s hard to break something that bends.201D;At the heart of this movement is a big heart. It seems that for the poly community, love isn2019;t a zero-sum game in which loving someone deducts love from another.Soccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends.Source:AAPSoccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends. And going some way to easing the stigma of the notion that loving, or at least having feelings for more than one person, is simply human nature, the potential catches on The Bachelor and, more recently, The Bachelorette have been issuing roses to multiple people since the program first aired in 2002.It2019;s a lot to wrap your head around, particularly from the perspective of a traditional secure monogamous relationship 2014; all the more so if the idea of polyamory was floated to you in said buttoned-up union, as was the case for relationship coach Dr Elisabeth Sheff.201C;It was hard for me to understand how he could envision a life together without what I saw as recognisable commitment and without monogamy. He didn2019;t want to get married. He didn2019;t want to be monogamous, but he wanted to be together. I thought: 2018;What? How? What are you talking about?2019; explains Dr Sheff, who, despite eventually breaking up with her partner, began studying polyamory and has since penned three books on the subject, her most recent titled The Polyamorists Next Door. 201C;It turns out that I2019;m not polyamorous myself. But it can work well for other people. It isn2019;t for everyone, in fact, I would say that it is only for a minority of people. I would think that other forms of non-monogamy that have less emphasis on interaction and emotional sharing are probably a lot easier to manage.201D;What about jealousy? Polyamorists often say it’s not an issue.Source:istockThe other glaringly obvious obstacle in all of this is, of course, jealousy. Are you on board with the fact that the person you love is dating someone else they genuinely love, even if you2019;re doing it too? Some polyamorists in fact experience 2018;compersion2019;, which is often described as the opposite of jealousy 2014; the feeling of being genuinely happy for a loved one who is in love.201C;We2019;re not sure if people experience less jealousy because they are naturally drawn to polyamory, or if polyamory helps reduce jealousy, or if it is a combination of both,201D; says Schechinger.The takeaway? If you2019;re the type who has ever skimmed your significant other2019;s texts, then polyamory probably isn2019;t your jam. 201C;If you have that high level of jealousy receptors, then perhaps don2019;t do consensual non-monogamy, because it2019;s going to hurt you like hell,201D; echoes Dr Sheff.At the end of the day, polyamory is not for everybody.Source:istockFor others, however, uncovering polyamory has been more of an 2018;a-ha2019; moment. Gender-diverse Eve De Zilva discovered polyamory after attending sex-positive workshops at university.201C;I just thought: 2018;That is so for me!2019; I get to live my life to the fullest and connect with as many people as possible,201D; she explains. She has various partners on the go, while her live-in partner of five years, Tom, has just celebrated his one-year anniversary with another woman.She2019;s met Tom2019;s other 2018;plus one2019;: they even hang out. 201C;I really get along with her and we are all new to polyamory and don2019;t have a lot of role models, but it2019;s exciting to problem-solve together and figure out what2019;s best,201D; she explains.That starts, she says, with altering your perception of a textbook romance. 201C;When you have a network of people who are polyamorous, they don2019;t usually want or need to be someone2019;s everything, so it works really well.201D;Ditto boundaries and the line between supportive BFF and loving partner. 201C;It affects the relationship in the way that we care about each other2019;s reality, as a friend and as a lover. But we also try not to get involved where it isn2019;t relevant, that2019;s for sure.201D;Read the full article in Vogue Australia, on sale now, or at vogue.com.au.trending in lifestyle!

          Qamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedWHEN sexologist Nikki Goldstein visited a sex toy trade show in China there was one product that made her particularly uncomfortable.Ms Goldstein explained to panellists on Qamp;A on Monday night that sex dolls can2019;t move independently and have to be carried around, so there is a trend towards making them smaller in size.But when she spotted some dolls that were 201C;smaller in stature201D; in China she said they did ring alarm bells for her about whether they were pedo-bots.201C;They were very cute looking, which was explained to me was not for Western cultures 2014; which was for Asian cultures,201D; she said.201C;It looked too much like a child and I questioned the person selling them. I said 2018;is that a child doll?2019;. My immediate reaction was 2018;this is not right2019;.201D;She said it was explained to her that the doll had small breasts, which meant it was an adult, just in a smaller size but she said it was a 201C;scary issue201D;.Ms Goldstein said technology was not good enough yet to make sex robots that were life-like, which felt or respond like actual humans, making their use more of a fetish.Jude Law (right) and Ashley Scott play sex robots in the Steven Spielberg film AISource:Supplied201C;For a lot of people who do sexually desire a sex robot, we may be looking at techno-sexuality,201D; she said.The desire may actually be for control and the idea that the robot is there purely for their pleasure.201C;I know a lot of people freak out about that and think 2018;what are we teaching people?2019;. Are we teaching them not to engage in consent?201C;Even if we are going to program these AI (artificial intelligence) bots to say no, what2019;s going to happen? Will a gate come down?201D;Are sex robots a true solution for those who struggle with intimacy? #QandA pic.twitter.com/AvIVuuEl9Cmdash; ABC Qamp;A (@QandA) November 5, 2018Qamp;A panel on November 6 for the Festival of Dangerous Ideas.Source:SuppliedOnce the technology gets better, Ms Goldstein believes the person who would most likely benefit from using a sex robot would be someone who wants some form of intimate connection without having to go to a brothel.However, social commentator Van Badham said providing someone with a sex robot could further loneliness and isolation.201C;You have a phenomenon in Japan of people getting older and older without having sexual relationships, without forming partnerships or families because their lives are dominated by work,201D; she said.She said the kind of work people do is very individualised and this meant as we moved towards certain automations, the notion of human contact was being taken away.201C;If you provide somebody with a sex robot and say that you can have this instead of a relationship, you2019;re furthering that loneliness and that sense of isolation.201D;While some of the panellists wondered if the robots could play some role in educating people about sex and their lives, pop culture critic Chuck Klosterman said he thought this was 201C;optimistic201D;.201C;You could look at pornography and say this is a way for a young person to learn about sex before they experience it,201D; he said. 201C;That2019;s not the main reason young people look at pornography.201D;There were also questions about who would control the data that sex robots gathered from the interactions with their owners.201C;Who is buying the data? Is Facebook buying the data to learn more about us on a sexual basis?201D; Ms Goldstein pointed out.201C;Will porn companies be able to tap into what we2019;re doing with these robots?201D;The discussion, which featured speakers from the Festival of Dangerous Ideas and also veered briefly on to questions of where to store sex dolls, seemed to lose many viewers with many describing it on social media as weird and inane.Easieslty the weirdest episode of #QandA evermdash; Anthony Shaw (@AnthonyShaw250) November 5, 2018#QandA Seriously? Homeless people. Working poor. Refugees. Who cares about sex robots.mdash; Theresa Grima (@OsiraOz) November 5, 2018#QandA this sex robot conversation is bordering on the inanemdash; Jane Caro (@JaneCaro) November 5, 2018Tonight’s #qanda is absolutely excruciating. These are some incredibly intelligent panelists, but they are being pushed by the producers into covering way too many topics. These are heavy sociotechnical topics that need focus and time to unpack, and we are just getting hot takes.mdash; Dr Daniel Angus (@antmandan) November 5, 2018I turned @QandA off.. FIRST TIME EVER !! #QandAmdash; MormorLady (@mormorlady) November 5, 2018Meanwhile, performer and sex clown Betty Grumble said she thought the way society was educating kids around sex wasn2019;t right.201C;There is so much shame and sex panic,201D; she said.Ms Grumble said sex and death had become sanitised and controlled in society.201C;It2019;s a way of controlling people,201D; she said. 201C;It2019;s beautiful that we2019;re all so different 2026; the only problem is when we harm others.201D;Ms Grumble said she thought people should confront shame where they saw it and stick up for people and all their weirdness.Australians were still struggling to encourage women to be sexual outside of monogamy, Ms Goldstein noted.201C;I really feel we have a linear model when we look at sex that2019;s influenced by religion: boy meets girl, boy-girl get married, have sex, procreate,201D; she said.The discussion also touched a new social credit system being trialled in China that gives people points or takes them away depending on their behaviour on social media or if they are buying things like alcohol or cigarettes.201C;It is terrifying to see what2019;s happening in China,201D; artificial intelligence researcher Tony Walsh said, saying the system was 201C;really Orwellian201D;.He said China had also developed a facial recognition system called Skynet (yes, like the machine in The Terminator movie) and it could scan a billion faces in a second.201C;They are using it to suppress religious minorities already,201D; Mr Walsh said.201C;If you think we2019;re in Australia and can sit back and relax, our government has just decided they2019;re going to build a national database and everyone2019;s passport photograph and licence photograph, all of your biometrics is going to be in that database for national security purposes.201D;Sophia - The First Robot Citizen of the World。

          Is he really cheating? Or is Tamara just a ‘colleague’? Picture: iStock.Source:istock Welcome to Relationship Rehab, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all your romantic problems, no holds barred. This week, our resident sexologist Isiah McKimmie tackles a wife who found her husband2019;s 201C;sex list201D;, a woman keen to take things further with her sexy barista and two sisters determined to battle it out.I FOUND MY HUSBAND2019;S SEX LISTQUESTION: My now husband cheated on me seven years ago and although we did counselling, he never opened up fully and discussed it. With the cheating came the stalking; I read his messages, looked through his stuff, his Facebook etc. At that time, I found his 2018;sex list2019; and on it was a girl named Tamara. He won2019;t tell me who she is and I was already suspicious of a Tamara at that time. He now has two 201C;friends201D; named Tamara, one of which he has come in contact with again recently. She has also separated from her partner. The issue is he had never referred to her as a friend 2014; only a work colleague 2014; and the other day, he let slip he knew her outside of work but then closed up.My question is: should I bury this and move on or should I push to get an answer?ANSWER: I don2019;t think you can bury this. I suspect that the issue of trust will continue to arise between you until you2019;re able to have open conversations together and fully heal from what happened in the past.Even if you could pretend this doesn2019;t bother you, your husband would need to bury this also, and it doesn2019;t necessarily sound like he has moved on from his deception.There are deep challenges with communication and trust here. You still don2019;t trust him (which is understandable) and he2019;s not able to talk about this with you. Even if nothing has happened with Tamara, he hasn2019;t been transparent about his true relationship with her.If you2019;re suspicious, you quite possibly have a reason to be. You deserve to have the details of the relationship (whatever that may be) disclosed to you.Is he really cheating? Or is Tamara just a ‘colleague’? Picture: iStock.Source:istockGiven the previous infidelity in your relationship, it2019;s not unreasonable to me that you would need your husband to be truthful, open and reassuring about any other relationships he has. If he wants to be able to move on from the past, it2019;s only fair that he2019;s willing to do this.How you proceed is, of course, up to you. We all have different values and priorities in a relationship. Honesty is one of my top values. It might not be yours. By pressing the issue with your husband further, you do risk frustrating him or having him become more distant.Either way, your relationship doesn2019;t sound like it2019;s solid and thriving.Trust, commitment and being able to talk through difficult issues with respect are proven, by the most comprehensive relationship research we have, to be vital to a long-term thriving relationship. I would be asking him to talk openly and honestly about it in order to heal the relationship.Infidelity is an important issue to be raised in therapy and I2019;m surprised to hear you finished counselling without fully and openly discussing this.If you continue to have trouble talking about it between just the two of you, I highly recommend re-engaging a counsellor or therapist to help you have these conversations and move on to a strong, happier relationship.Sexologist and couples therapist Isiah McKimmie. Picture: Supplied.Source:SuppliedHOW CAN I ASK OUT MY SEXY BARISTA?QUESTION: I have so much flirty banter with the cute guy who runs the coffee cart outside my office. How do I move things to the next level with him?ANSWER: How fun. I love flirty banter with baristas!Ask him if he has any plans for the weekend. It2019;s a great opportunity for him to tell you if there2019;s anyone else (his partner) that he spends his weekends with or for him to invite you out to something fun. And vice versa.He2019;s also likely to ask you what you2019;re doing, which gives you an opportunity to casually invite him to something. You can always soften it with, 201C;You could bring your friends or partner if you like.201D; It gives him an opportunity to let you know if he2019;s seeing anyone and to meet in a more casual setting.RELATED: I feel threatened by my husband2019;s exRELATED: Is my husband cheating on me 2026; again?RELATED: My new husband doesn2019;t want sexFlirty banter can be the start of something fun — but how can you tell if the cute guy has a partner? Picture: iStock.Source:istockHELP, MY SISTERS-IN-LAW ARE CRAZYQUESTION: My partner2019;s sisters fight all the time and always try to pull me into it, getting me to choose a side but I genuinely don2019;t care and don2019;t want to get involved. How can I get them to leave me out of it?ANSWER: You2019;ve put it really well in the question when you say, 201C;I don2019;t want to get involved.201D;Here2019;s what I suggest: When they do something that tries to pull you in, validate their feelings by saying something like, 201C;I can absolutely see how that would be upsetting/frustrating for you.201D; But then refuse to take sides.Let them know, that, 201C;I really want to maintain a great relationship with all of you and I hope that2019;s possible. I think this is something you need to sort out between yourselves. I don2019;t want to get involved.201D;Hopefully once you set this boundary and show that you2019;re not going to get involved further, they2019;ll stop trying.Isiah McKimmie is a couples therapist, sex therapist and sexologist. For more expert advice follow her on InstagramIf you have a question for Isiah, email relationship.rehab@news.com.autrending in lifestyle,What is polyamory? Here’s what it’s really like to have multiple partners.Source:istockIT SEEMS quite a few people are doing it — with more than one person. As relationship norms shift, the acceptance and popularity of polyamory is growing. So what is it really like to have multiple partners?201C;Humans have been non-monogamous, and practising polyamory, for as long as there have been humans,201D; says Dr Heath Schechinger, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.Before you dismiss the notion as promiscuity slapped with a fancy label or as a neat excuse for the philandering type to justify a wandering eye, consider this: the fourth most popular relationship Google search in 2017 was 2018;what is a poly relationship?2019;The short answer? It2019;s the practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved.Vogue’s latest issue, which explores polyamory in-depth, is on-sale now.Source:Vogue AustraliaPerhaps it2019;s more accurate to define polyamory by what it isn2019;t. It isn2019;t a series of orgies. It isn2019;t polygamy (which is illegal in many places, as that entails being married to more than one person, and overwhelmingly involves men with multiple wives, not vice versa).It isn2019;t simply an open relationship whereby you live largely monogamously, save for the occasional one-night stand after a couple of after-work drinks.201C;This is different from the 2018;player2019;, who is deceiving people or who wants his cake and to eat it too. Part of it is there is an emphasis on being ethical and consensual, so that there is no hiding and no deception,201D; says Dr Schechinger, noting that current data, although scarce, does suggest a fairly equal split in men and women who choose a polyamorous lifestyle.201C;There will be people who say it is just something that guys want, but that doesn2019;t fall in line with the data.201D;The Bachelor is partly responsible for shifting cultural attitudes towards polyamory.Source:SuppliedCurrent figures suggest that around four to five per cent of the US population is in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship (a term that encompasses polyamory as well as swinging and open relationships), and more than one in five people have indicated that at one point they have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.201C;The CNM community is just as big as the LGBT community combined, and in terms of the number of people that have ever practised CNM, it is about as common as the number of people who own a cat,201D; says Schechinger, who is leading the first consensual non-monogamy task force.The real figures could be higher. With millennials and gen Z shunning labels, welcoming non-traditional lifestyles and, in general, demonstrating greater acceptance and open-mindedness about everything from gender stereotypes to who (or how many people) they bed, polyamory is increasingly prevalent.201C;Our culture is more open, we have more time and knowledge about it, we are less stigmatising and becoming more aware of diversity-related issues. I see this as just being another wave on that social justice or diversity-of-awareness trend,201D; says Schechinger.Musician Bethany Meyers and fiance US actor Nico Tortorella have made no secret of their polyamorous relationship.Source:AFPEven screen stars like Nico Tortorella 2014; the heart-throb of the Stan series Younger 2014; has made no secret of his polyamorous relationship with Bethany Meyers, whom he married earlier this year.In a piece she penned for LGBT publication Them, Meyers shed light on their arrangement: 201C;Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn2019;t. It2019;s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realised it2019;s the reason we are impenetrable. It2019;s hard to break something that bends.201D;At the heart of this movement is a big heart. It seems that for the poly community, love isn2019;t a zero-sum game in which loving someone deducts love from another.Soccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends.Source:AAPSoccer superstar Ronaldinho, who propelled to godlike status in his native Brazil, reportedly has two live-in girlfriends. And going some way to easing the stigma of the notion that loving, or at least having feelings for more than one person, is simply human nature, the potential catches on The Bachelor and, more recently, The Bachelorette have been issuing roses to multiple people since the program first aired in 2002.It2019;s a lot to wrap your head around, particularly from the perspective of a traditional secure monogamous relationship 2014; all the more so if the idea of polyamory was floated to you in said buttoned-up union, as was the case for relationship coach Dr Elisabeth Sheff.201C;It was hard for me to understand how he could envision a life together without what I saw as recognisable commitment and without monogamy. He didn2019;t want to get married. He didn2019;t want to be monogamous, but he wanted to be together. I thought: 2018;What? How? What are you talking about?2019; explains Dr Sheff, who, despite eventually breaking up with her partner, began studying polyamory and has since penned three books on the subject, her most recent titled The Polyamorists Next Door. 201C;It turns out that I2019;m not polyamorous myself. But it can work well for other people. It isn2019;t for everyone, in fact, I would say that it is only for a minority of people. I would think that other forms of non-monogamy that have less emphasis on interaction and emotional sharing are probably a lot easier to manage.201D;What about jealousy? Polyamorists often say it’s not an issue.Source:istockThe other glaringly obvious obstacle in all of this is, of course, jealousy. Are you on board with the fact that the person you love is dating someone else they genuinely love, even if you2019;re doing it too? Some polyamorists in fact experience 2018;compersion2019;, which is often described as the opposite of jealousy 2014; the feeling of being genuinely happy for a loved one who is in love.201C;We2019;re not sure if people experience less jealousy because they are naturally drawn to polyamory, or if polyamory helps reduce jealousy, or if it is a combination of both,201D; says Schechinger.The takeaway? If you2019;re the type who has ever skimmed your significant other2019;s texts, then polyamory probably isn2019;t your jam. 201C;If you have that high level of jealousy receptors, then perhaps don2019;t do consensual non-monogamy, because it2019;s going to hurt you like hell,201D; echoes Dr Sheff.At the end of the day, polyamory is not for everybody.Source:istockFor others, however, uncovering polyamory has been more of an 2018;a-ha2019; moment. Gender-diverse Eve De Zilva discovered polyamory after attending sex-positive workshops at university.201C;I just thought: 2018;That is so for me!2019; I get to live my life to the fullest and connect with as many people as possible,201D; she explains. She has various partners on the go, while her live-in partner of five years, Tom, has just celebrated his one-year anniversary with another woman.She2019;s met Tom2019;s other 2018;plus one2019;: they even hang out. 201C;I really get along with her and we are all new to polyamory and don2019;t have a lot of role models, but it2019;s exciting to problem-solve together and figure out what2019;s best,201D; she explains.That starts, she says, with altering your perception of a textbook romance. 201C;When you have a network of people who are polyamorous, they don2019;t usually want or need to be someone2019;s everything, so it works really well.201D;Ditto boundaries and the line between supportive BFF and loving partner. 201C;It affects the relationship in the way that we care about each other2019;s reality, as a friend and as a lover. But we also try not to get involved where it isn2019;t relevant, that2019;s for sure.201D;Read the full article in Vogue Australia, on sale now, or at vogue.com.au.trending in lifestyle?

          Tottie Goldsmith hosted Sex/Life back in the 90s.Source:News Corp AustraliaBACK in the early to mid 1990s, there was a quiet revolution going on in Australian television. It all had to do with that three-letter word: sex.For any teenager growing up in Australia at that time, catching a glimpse of the racy show Sex/Life was a guilty pleasure.Whether secretly taping it on VHS or sneaking a peek over your parents2019; shoulders when they thought you weren2019;t looking, the very adult show was both titillating and educational.The show began its life in 1992 known as Sex hosted by Sophie Lee on Channel 9. Her casting was perhaps confusing for teenage boys, who just a couple of years earlier were watching Lee present The Bugs Bunny Show, also for Nine.With a mix of educational segments coupled with the odd racy image, semi or full-frontal nudity and dark lighting, the Sex show was polarising.So, was it educational or soft porn?Opening with the sounds of old-school, porno-style saxophone, the show2019;s titles faded out to a dimly lit very simple set of Sophie Lee sitting on a chair.Sophie Lee was the host of the first incarnation of the Sex show.Source:News LimitedSex covered everything from gay conversion therapy, masturbation and how to get the perfect orgasm to issues around prostitution, sex toys, sexually transmitted diseases, sexuality and gender issues. In the very first episode, a segment on fantasies promised to reveal how to have 201C;the best sex you will ever have201D;.The show was the first, and maybe the last, on mainstream television to show close-up images of female genitalia.Lee only lasted a year as host, with comedian Pamela Stephenson taking over in 1993.Sex moved to Channel 10 in 1994 and was renamed Sex/Life, with Tottie Goldsmith, then Alyssa Jane-Cook taking over hosting duties.The show pushed the boundaries when it came to very public, national sexual education, not only for teenagers, but for young adults, Baby Boomers or even our older generation.They also helped Australians become more aware of what was a scary time, with the HIV/AIDS epidemic still very much at play.HOW SEX/LIFE BEGANEarly in the 1990s, producer Tim Clucas was kicking goals as a producer on A Current Affair when he was offered a job at Business Sunday.He wasn2019;t sure working on a dry, finance-focused morning show was really his thing, so he sat down to write a proposal for something completely different: a prime time series about sex and relationships.This is how Clucas pitched the idea to Nine2019;s head programmer Ross Plapp: 201C;If there is a place on television for a weekly show about backyards (Burke2019;s Backyard), then there is a place for a show about sex because more people have more sex than people have backyards.Clucas recalled: 201C;He looked at me across the big desk and said, 2018;You2019;ve got a show son.2019; And that was that.201D;Kerry Packer was running Channel 9 at the time and the show 2014; through his loyal lieutenants David Leckie and John Stephens 2014; had his support.Tim Clucas was the creator of the show.Source:News Limited201C;There was no obstruction on that level, in fact there was no obstruction at all,201D; Clucas said.201C;It was more a dance with the censors.201D;When it made it to air, the show certainly had its critics.The famous Christian warrior, Reverend Fred Nile, was almost a weekly critic of the show 2014; he even appeared on one episode 2014; and the program lit up talkback radio.The shock jocks had a field day.Clucas said that, despite the critics, every story was ran by the Channel 9 censors, who had a very direct line to him and the production team.201C;It wasn2019;t all about sex positions or that sort of thing; it wasn2019;t that,201D; he said.201C;In fact the Channel 9 censors made it very clear that the show had to be informative, and if we bordered or entered into the world of titillation, then they would have put a stop to the story.201C;We were very medical in our approach, otherwise we would have been stopped by the censors at Nine.201C;If you thought you were going to turn that show on and get porn, well, you were sadly disappointed.201D;Take this segment, which was probably the riskiest that ever went to air.201C;We were the first show to show the female clitoris on television, but in an extreme tight shot that also had the colour removed from it,201D; he said.201C;So there was no way you were watching anything but something similar that you would see at a medical students2019; lecture theatre.201D;There was male nudity as well, which some critics objected too, but Clucas said they got it wrong.201C;The irony was that the titillation was in the eyes of the critics,201D; he said.201C;They thought it was titillating, but an extreme tight shot of a man2019;s testicle to explore how to check for cancer is no way titillating.201C;It2019;s not an attractive sight at all, but it was a very important piece of television to us.201D;Initially the show was a huge ratings success, pulling a massive 32-point share in the old OzTam system,Clucas remains proud that the show educated Australians about the HIV/AIDS crisis. he said Lee should be given a lot of credit for that.201C;Sophie was passionate about educating and helping young people,201D; he said.201C;She once said to me 2018;ignorance is death2019; in the age of AIDS.201C;I thought, that is brilliant.201D;Sophie Lee blows up condom in a scene from Sex.Source:News LimitedClucas, who went on to be one of Australia2019;s leading television executives, said Lee was the perfect host.201C;She was certainly important to the show because Sophie is an extraordinary character,201D; Clucas said.201C;I remember once walking into her dressing room one day to talk to her about the upcoming episode, and she was reading the Asian Financial Review.201C;People never gave her the credit for the intelligent reason she chose to do the show, and that was (that) information is power.201D;Clucas was also a big supporter of a young medical reporter who worked on the show, Dr Kerryn Phelps, who is running in the Wentworth by-election this weekend.THE SWITCH TO CHANNEL 10 Channel 9 axed Sex at the end of 1993 but, for Clucas, it wasn2019;t the end.Plapp had moved to Channel 10, and they relaunched the show with a new title, Sex/Life.For new host Tottie Goldsmith, now 56, it took a bit of convincing to sign up.201C;My biggest fear at the time was, I knew that it would make me a household name and at that time I had kind of gone under the radar,201D; she said.201C;I knew it was going to be controversial.201C;Was I up for it?201C;I told my agent to go and tell the producer 2018;double or nothing2019;, thinking they would say no, but they said yes.201D;Tottie Goldsmith (centre) snuggles up to some beefcake from Manpower Australia.Source:News Corp AustraliaIn the end, it was her grandmother who convinced her to do the show.201C;I thought, I2019;m a single mother, I2019;ve got to do this, it2019;s great money,201D; she said.Goldsmith lasted a year, leaving over creative differences.201C;I wanted it to get deeper, and I didn2019;t want to do the same thing over again, so a second series wasn2019;t for me,201D; she said.Tottie Goldsmith took the reins of Sex/Life in 1994Source:News Corp AustraliaAlyssa-Jane Cook signed on for one last year and, in 1995, Sex/Life was axed for good.A show as bold as it, has never returned since.JUST A NORMAL SUBURBAN GPBefore Sex/Life raised eyebrows, there was another controversial show that had people listening under the covers with their Sony Walkmans on a Sunday night: radio program Pillowtalk, hosted by Dr Feelgood.Dr Sally Cockburn was working as a GP in the inner-city suburbs of Melbourne when she was first approached to host the show, which ran nationally from 1992 to 1998 on what now is the Southern Cross Australia radio network.201C;It was one of my patients who worked at the station (Fox FM in Melbourne) who suggested me to the general manager, and I said 2018;I don2019;t know anything about sex,2019; and she said, 2018;oh come on, you2019;re my doctor, you know everything,2019; and it went from there,201D; Dr Cockburn told news.com.au.201C;Initially they wanted to go in the direction of the American programs, which were a bit 2018;snigger snigger, let2019;s kind of take the mickey out of the caller2019;.201C;I said I wouldn2019;t do that.201C;I wanted to make sure we treated every caller with respect.201C;There is no such thing as a silly question.201D;Dr Sally Cockburn, also known as Dr Feelgood.Source:SuppliedPillowtalk went to air at 10pm on a Sunday, after Rick Dee2019;s American Top 40 show.Later, it was so popular it ran during the week on some stations.To this day, Dr Cockburn gets approached by people from all walks of life telling her just how important the show was to them.201C;It2019;s really gratifying, especially the number of people in their young thirties, who tell me they lived in the country, and couldn2019;t get any advice about sex,201D; she said.She is proud of bringing education about same-sex relationships to the mainstream public arena, which wasn2019;t talked about at the time.201C;Some of the shows we did were incredibly groundbreaking,201D; she said.201C;One of shows that I remember very well was when I had two friends of mine, two guys who had been in a relationship for 25 years, come on the show.201C;They came on and they were willing to talk about their relationship.201C;That didn2019;t happen much in the 1990s.201D;Could Pillowtalk exist now?Dr Cockburn believes things have changed, but in many ways, such a program could work 2014; but for the older generation.201C;IAustralian model Holly Young. Picture: InstagramSource:SuppliedAn Australian model and Instagram star who once dated Usain Bolt has been caught up in the marriage breakdown of an international soccer star in England.Premier League ace Phil Jagielka has split from his wife of 10 years after striking up a close friendship with Aussie model Holly Young, The Sun reports.The breakup came because wife Emily has 201C;had enough201D; of Jagielka, who won 40 caps for England, a source said.Australian model Holly Young. Picture: InstagramSource:SuppliedHolly Young is 25. Picture: SuppliedSource:SuppliedThe footballer, 36, has been spending time with 25-year-old Young, who dated sprint star Usain Bolt for a year in 2017 and recently boasted about an $18,000 boob job.The source said: 201C;It looks like a permanent split.Phil Jagielka playing for Everton. Picture: AFPSource:AFPPhil Jagielka has played for England 40 times. Picture: GettySource:Getty Images201C;Emily has supported him throughout all the ups and downs of his career and can2019;t believe this has happened.201C;Everything that they had has now come crashing down and there doesn2019;t seem to be a way back.201C;He moved out and she2019;s had enough of it all so there2019;s no way back for them. He moved in with his parents for a few weeks but now he2019;s got his own place.201D;Dad of two Jagielka left the $5.4 million family home in Knutsford, Cheshire, at the end of last season after Emily, 39, confronted him, a friend has revealed.Jagielka left Everton on a free transfer this summer after 12 years 2014; six of them as captain.He now plays for his first club, newly promoted Sheffield United.Jagielka now plays for Sheffield united. Picture: AFPSource:AFPInstagram star Young, from Perth, moved into a luxury rented flat in Manchester city centre last October.She has bragged about a mystery boyfriend who showered her with gifts and whisked her away on romantic trips to the Swiss Alps resort of Gstaad, Budapest and Paris.And she told a newspaper: 201C;It was date night and he surprised me with a chopper which landed in the Lake District. We landed at a private residence and spent the weekend together.201D;Young revealed she first started dating a footballer after meeting at an event in London.She said: 201C;He actually called the company I was working for at the time to ask for my details to invite me to Fashion Week.201D;Holly Young is said to have had a ‘cover story’ to hide her romance. Picture: InstagramSource:SuppliedAustralian newspapers speculated she was dating a Manchester United player after she posted selfies at Old Trafford.But a source told The Sun: 201C;Holly was happy for people to assume she was dating a United footballer but that seems to be a cover story.201C;She has been treated to an amazing lifestyle that any woman would love 2014; being sent flowers, given romantic weekends and surprise treats like new handbags.201D;Holly Young once dated Jamaica's Usain Bolt, one of the greatest athletes in history. Picture: AFPSource:AFPJagielka2019;s friendship with Young came as a shock to Emily, who has spent the past decade bringing up their children and building up a holiday home company.They started dating in 2006 and married three years later.In September 2009 the couple were left terrified when three men burst into their home.trending in lifestyle。

          Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men's names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty ImagesWouldn’t it be handy — albeit a complete violation of one’s privacy — if you could check a list every time you started dating someone, just to make sure they weren’t already married? Well, now single gals in Tanzania may be able to do just that after a governor unveiled plans to create a public database of every engaged and married man2019;s name 2014; in a bid to save single women from 201C;unnecessary heartbreak201D;.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda, the governor of the country2019;s capital city Dar-es-Salaam, said he has received a lot of complaints from women who were abandoned by their lovers after becoming engaged, revealing his plan to help tackle infidelity in the East African country.According to the leader, a database will help prevent men from cheating as once they2019;re married and no longer available, single women will be able to verify that information 2014; saving themselves from suffering a broken heart.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men’s names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty Images201C;I have been receiving complaints from women who have been promised marriage by men, yet the men didn2019;t fulfil the promise. I know women who have been paying bills yet the men walked away 2026;201D; Makonda said in native language Kiswahili during a press conference on Monday, reports CNN.201C;These charming men have been promising to marry them, then ditch the women after using them. This is something that is humiliating.201D;He then went on to detail a proposed database at the regional commissioner2019;s office in each region where 201C;every man who promises a woman marriage, this should be registered201D; in a bid to allow women to check to see whether the person asking was already married.Mr Makonda said the database would include men in Christian, Muslim and customary marriages.The announcement of such extreme measures has been met with a largely negative response, with many on Twitter blasting the idea calling it 201C;nonsense201D;.absolutely nonesense— ing dela hills sewornu ?? ???? (@prospersewornu) August 14, 2019 #Tanzania is to make its database of married men in the country public to help women know the marital status of their partners before they have a serious relationship with them. This came about following the number of women who claim to have been cheated on by men #CheatingMen— okwoche (@okwoche) August 13, 2019 Silly idea to make a data base for all married men. Guys would always cheat if the need arises.— Alfred Steven ??Sober-Man (@alfredsteven9) August 13, 2019 ???????? Good morning! Tanzania state official says plans underway to publicise married men in efforts to tame cheating - Graphic Online https://t.co/xxqXRiS2Ae— Sanaaheneba ???????? ???? (@bkghana) August 14, 2019 The Constitutional court should intervene here..Confidentiality should be upheld..!— Tornado..Veteran 102 (@tyengeni1954) August 13, 2019 What happened to.. right to privacy— Thulani (@thulanii_) August 13, 2019 However there were a few who thought the idea would work, with one praising it as a 201C;good idea201D;.Good idea ????— AFRICAN: Elijah Ngurare (@ngurare) August 13, 2019 Tanzanian news outlet The Citizen reported some men were upset over the plans as there was no suggestion a list of married women would be created.Tanzania isn2019;t the first country to propose a way to expose cheating men, with a governor in neighbouring Kenya vowing to expose politicians who abandon their lovers with children after an affair.Mike Sonko, governor of Nairobi, shared two telephone numbers on his Facebook page and urged women who believes they have been mistreated to contact his office with pictures and evidence of the affairs.201C;From today all great women of this country, if there is an MP, Senator, Governor, civil servant or businessman who has impregnated you and denied responsibility send me their details we expose him and seek DNA tests when he2019;s still alive,201D; Sonko wrote on his Facebook page.What do you think of the plans to create a public list of marriages to prevent cheating? Let us know in the comments below or continue the conversation @RebekahScanlan | rebekah.scanlan@news.com.autrending in lifestyle。

          “Painfully single” Robyn Lynne Norris had no idea her “goofy” dating profile would prove so popular, it’s now the subject of a Broadway show.Source:InstagramIt started seven years ago, with a favour: One of Robyn Lynne Norris’ friends had signed up with OkCupid and asked her to review her online dating profile.Back then, Norris, a 20-something 201C;hopeless romantic201D;, knew nothing about online dating. Newly arrived in Los Angeles and lonely, the writer-comedian had just come off a bad breakup 2014; to a fellow comedian who, during their months-long gig on a cruise ship, hooked up with the woman in the cabin next door. On Norris2019; birthday, no less.And so, with time on her hands and angst in her heart, she agreed to help her friend 2014; only to find she had to submit a bio of her own before she could view someone else2019;s, the New York Post reports.Within five minutes, Norris scratched out a jokey profile of someone she considered utterly 201C;undateable201D;: a 28-year-old LA woman posting as 201C;Tracylovescats.201D;Robyn Lynne Norris created this goofy dating profile to help a friend and was amazed at the response. Picture: Supplied/DatemediariesSource:SuppliedAs the dating site required, she gave Tracy a self-summary (201C;I love KITTIES!201D;), a goal (201C;Trying to act and playing with my kitties ALL day long!!!201D;) and a typical Friday night activity (201C;Eating chocolate and playing with my KITTIES!!!201D;).She attached a goofy-looking photo of herself, posted it and went on with her life.Three nights later, when Norris met her friend for dinner, she logged on 2014; and found that her kitty-loving alter ego had pawed a nerve. Along with some punny and profane come-ons were a lot of playful responses, along the lines of 201C;meow, meow201D; and 201C;purr, nap, yawn.201D; And they were from men. More than a hundred of them!201C;It was crazy,201D; Norris tells the Post. 201C;I thought, 2018;I2019;m so painfully single 2014; and this crazy cat lady is more popular online than I am in real life!2019;201D;The reaction to ‘Traceylovescats’ inspired Robyn Norris to start a social experiment. Picture: Instagram/Robyn Lynne NorrisSource:InstagramSo began her year-long experiment into who, if anyone, might be considered 201C;undateable201D; in the wide-open world of the internet.Those profiles and responses gradually blossomed into a show. #DateMe: An OKCupid Experiment, now playing off-Broadway, has a cast of eight, several musical numbers and a downloadable Tinder-like dating app, #DateMe, that lets theatregoers connect with each other during the show.At the heart of the show is Norris (played by actress Kaitlyn Black) and her own lightly fictionalised life story, plus verbatim snippets from the 38 preposterous OkCupid profiles she and several friends created.Enter Clean4U84, who billed herself as 201C;a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. A head that likes to be shampoo2019;d . . . scrubba, scrubba, scrubba201D; and whose favourite 201C;book201D; was the Bed Bath amp; Beyond catalogue.Prinzess Angie sounds like a delight. Picture: Supplied/DatemediariesSource:Supplied201C;She got hundreds and hundreds of responses,201D; Norris says. 201C;I think because it was so funny.201D;Also popular was BoobsandWangz, a 32-year-old law firm receptionist whose lifelong dream was to work at Hooters. That generated a lot of interest, too, Norris says: 201C;Lots of people played along, telling her they knew a manager201D; at one of the franchises.But before Norris and Co. posted any of their fake personas, they set some ground rules.201C;We didn2019;t want to catfish anyone,201D; she says. People who seemed genuinely interested in kitty-loving Tracy or CokedOut 2014; a 32-year-old Boston brunette with a yen for Coca-Cola 2014; were told the women were off the market.201C;I think it was pretty impossible to think these (profiles) were real people,201D; Norris says. 201C;But if they didn2019;t know, I2019;d write back and say, 2018;Hey, you seem wonderful, but I just started seeing someone.2019; I wasn2019;t into ghosting.201D;Who wouldn’t want to date someone obsessed with Christmas? Picture: Supplied / DatemediariesSource:SuppliedShe and her collaborators also vowed not to use stock art: All 38 profile pictures were photos of either the Los Angeles-based Norris or her friends.Along the way, she learned a lot about online dating, and what it takes to elicit the most interest.201C;I realised the more specific you are in your profile, the more responses and messages you2019;ll get,201D; Norris says. 201C;Everyone says they love to laugh and travel, but the more specific you make it 2014; the more you put in what2019;s weird and unique about yourself 2014; the more interesting you2019;ll be.201D;She also believes the stereotypical online dater is just that: a stereotype. 201C;People think everyone on the internet is disgusting or just wants to have sex,201D; she says. 201C;But I found myself connecting with funny people, lovely people.201D;Barely had her experiment ended, in 2013, when Norris herself felt ready to connect. But before she went online in earnest, she met someone in real life, at a comedy club. Atul Singh, an improv and sketch comedian, won her heart before their first dinner date, just by giving her a curated list of restaurants to choose from.Norris is now married to Atul Singh. Picture: Supplied / DatemediariesSource:Supplied201C;He did a lot of research,201D; she says. 201C;I thought, 2018;This is already the most thoughtful person I2019;ve gone on a date with!2019; 201D; They wed in 2017 with two ceremonies. In the Hindu one, Singh rode in on a horse 2014; her knight in shining armour.201C;I think the experiment helped me get ready for him,201D; Norris says. 201C;I was so closed down before . . . The internet gives you the feeling that you can reach out. People want to connect.201D;This article originally appeared on The NY Post and was reproduced with permissiontrending in lifestyleIn New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state. But it’s not the same across the country.Source:istockOPINIONLast weekend, I did a favour for a friend of mine.She2019;s a sex worker too, an independent escort who had gone to a hotel in the city for a booking with a client.When she arrived, she texted me the name of the hotel, the room they were in and the time the booking was due to start 2013; and finish. She also texted me the full name of the client and told me that if she hadn2019;t messaged again within fifteen minutes of the time the booking was due to finish, then I should call her immediately and keep calling until she picked up.If she didn2019;t pick up, my next step was to then call the hotel, and the police.This might sound like a pretty intense situation to observe from afar on my casual Saturday night, but it2019;s by no means the first time I2019;ve kept an eye on a fellow sex worker2019;s booking to make sure that they got in and out safely and had someone to call if they ran in to trouble.I imagine that on any given night in any city across the world, there are workers doing the same thing: watching the time tick by on their phone screen and waiting for that text to pop up from their friend, letting them know that the booking went well and they2019;re in a taxi, on their way home.The main difference between what my friend and I did, and what I imagine workers across the globe might have been doing on that same night, is that it was totally legal for her to contact me and let me know that she was working.Related: Will sex robots save the world?Related: The truth about men who visit sex workersRelated: What I learnt during a year of being singleIn New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised and far from being a lawless, free-for-all state, decriminalisation simply means that police are not the ones in charge of regulating the sex industry.While sex workers must be over eighteen and forcing anyone to provide sexual services is against the law, sex workers and adult businesses operate like any other professional service. According to Scarlet Alliance, the industry is regulated by local councils (who control planning and licensing), WorkCover NSW (who oversee occupational health and safety) and NSW Health, who look at all matters relating to public health.New South Wales is the only state in Australia where sex work is fully decriminalised, but the model of decriminalisation is one most sex workers across the world believe creates the best and safest working conditions. It2019;s even been endorsed by Amnesty International, after an extensive amount of research found laws that criminalise sex work not only make workers more vulnerable to exploitation and marginalisation, but make them less likely to approach police for help if they need it.Put simply, a sex worker who is working in a country where sex work is illegal can2019;t go to the police to report a crime committed against them while working, without also dobbing themselves in as having done something illegal too. Related: What are the 2018;rules2019; for relationships?Related: Is casual sex the solution, rather than the problem?Related: This is the worst Australian city to find a dateWhile it2019;s perfectly legal within the state of New South Wales for my friend to ask me to check in on her while she works, that2019;s sadly not the case in every state.In Queensland, for example, two or more sex workers working together, whether it2019;s seeing a client together for a double booking or even just working out of the same hotel, even unknowingly, is considered an offence and can result in criminal penalties.One worker checking in with another as they work is also against the law, as is having a receptionist or even a paid driver who drives more than one worker.If you think this is all beginning to sound a bit ridiculous, you2019;re not alone. After many years of campaigning from sex workers and peer organisations, Queensland is finally beginning to look at decriminalising sex work and removing these restrictive laws: something that feels long overdue.While there2019;s no doubt that the adult industry should be fairly regulated so it can co-exist peacefully alongside other industries, workers in Queensland have been asking for a long time why they face a choice between working legally and working safely. Related: Has sex work ruined my ability to flirt?Related: The six men every sex worker encounters on dating appsRelated: What it was like to have casual sex after almost a year withoutIf the law prevents sex workers from working in a premises with their peers or even messaging fellow workers for help and assistance, it creates an environment in which people who are already vulnerable and marginalised are at risk of becoming even more so.It2019;s bizarre to think that if my friend and I lived in Queensland instead of New South Wales, her simple request that I keep an eye on her during her booking could have resulted in criminal penalties for us both. In every other industry across Australia, laws are put in place to protect the safety of workers: so why not ours?While the majority of sex workers2019; clients are good and kind people, there is always a small chance that the next booking a worker walks in to could be with a client who chooses to be disrespectful, aggressive, or worse.Laws that legitimise and support sex workers go a long way in changing people2019;s attitudes towards us and in turn their behaviour; every sex worker deserves to work in a place where they know that the police would treat them like any other citizen if they were to reach out.As for my friend, she messaged me right on time as she left her booking and then again as she got in to the taxi that took her home. She had a glass of wine, took a shower, and then got in to bed, signing off with a final text before she fell asleep.We were two ordinary women talking about our jobs, having found one of the rare places in the world where it was totally legal and safe for us to do so.2014; Kate Iselin is a writer and sex worker. Continue the conversation @kateiselintrending in lifestyle

          一定牛彩票app是真的吗She said she was a young woman seeking love, and she was gorgeous. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:Supplied Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to catfishing and online deception.QUESTION: I couldn2019;t believe my luck when I met an incredible woman online. She contacted me on Tinder, but we quickly took things off-platform, texting until the early hours every night. She was easily the most beautiful woman who has ever spoken to me 2014; I2019;m not the most popular man when it comes to the ladies. I couldn2019;t believe the connection I felt to her, even though we2019;d never actually spoken before (she told me the microphone on her phone was broken so we could only text, not speak). After months of chatting, she finally agreed to fly from Perth to Melbourne so we could meet in person, but on the day, everything went wrong 2014; her car broke down and she missed her flight and had no money to buy a new one, so I sent her some cash, about $4000 in total. I waited at the airport but she never showed up and hasn2019;t answered any of my texts since. I am heartbroken and also so embarrassed. Was I catfished? Do I have any legal rights? 2014; Paul, MelbourneANSWER: Catfishing is the term used to describe deception about someone2019;s identity online, usually with an ulterior motive.As in your case, it2019;s often used in online dating to pursue someone romantically under false pretences or to bully someone on social media.RELATED: Help! My landlord keeps 2018;dropping in2019; unannouncedRELATED: Help! My neighbour is secretly filming meRELATED: My boss hit on me and then made me redundantDo you ever really know who you're chatting to online? Picture: Rohit Tandon/UnsplashSource:SuppliedCatfishing itself is not a crime under the law, however it will be considered illegal in certain circumstances.Every state and territory has laws making fraudulent behaviour a crime, with hefty financial penalties and jail time.For catfishing to be classified as fraud under the law, it would need to be shown that:2022; By deception, the 201C;catfish201D; acted dishonestly;2022; The conduct caused a financial advantage over the other person or caused them to suffer a disadvantage;2022; The conduct was intentional or reckless.Tracking down this woman2019;s real identity (assuming she was even a woman) can be very difficult, let alone proving the elements of fraud to allow criminal charges to be laid.Catfishing may also violate the terms of use of the particular social media or dating platform, so you should report the woman2019;s profile to Tinder ensure her profile is suspended immediately.Unfortunately, you2019;re not the first person to fall for a catfishing scam, with celebrity Casey Donovan also being a victim.Celebrities have also had their identities stolen in order to catfish unsuspecting victims.Criminal charges can also be laid where the catfish uses fraud to procure or engage in sexual activity.Other more serious charges may apply to people who prey on children online to cause them harm, engage or procure sexual activity. Dubbed 201C;Carly2019;s Law201D;, these laws follow the campaigning of concerned mother Sonia Ryan whose 15-year-old daughter was murdered in 2007 by a man posing online as an 18-year-old musician.In relation to the money that you provided her, if your intention was to loan her the money then you may be able to get this back from her.To do so, you must send her a letter of demand (after you have identified who she is), setting out that she owes you $4000 and asking that it be repaid within a certain time frame, otherwise legal action will be taken.She said she was a young woman seeking love and was the girl of his dreams. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:SuppliedIf she doesn2019;t respond then each state and territory has different rules about how to recover money owed to you.In Victoria, you2019;re able to begin proceedings in the Magistrate2019;s Court to recover debts up to $100,000. This is also the case in South Australia.For those living in other states and territories, such as Queensland, or the ACT where the amount is less than $25,000 ($10,000 in the Northern Territory), then a claim can be lodged with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.To lodge a claim with the tribunal or court, you must prepare a claim document that has:2022; The full name, and address, of the person or business who owes you money;2022; Details of the debt, including the date and place it happened, the amount, the terms of the agreement (including when it was to be paid back and whether it was a written or verbal agreement);2022; Any supporting documents, such as a copy of the agreement, and evidence showing the transfer of the money or goods (for example, bank statements);2022; Details of the amount you are trying to recover, plus any additional costs or interest.You must then serve the claim on the person who owes you money, and you may have to prove you provided her with the documents. The time frame for her to respond is 21 days in Victoria but between 21 and 30 days in other states and territories.If your catfisher fails to respond, you can ask the court or tribunal to make a decision in your favour. You may otherwise be required to attend the court or tribunal and argue why you should be repaid.If, ultimately, the debt is ordered to be repaid, then your catfisher may agree to repay the debt in instalments. If the debt is not repaid, then you may make a further application to the court or tribunal to:2022; Seize and sell property 2014; the property must be sold by public auction and for a reasonable price;2022; Redirect debts 2014; if your catfisher is owed money by someone else, this can instead be ordered to be given to you instead;2022; Redirect earnings 2014; your catfisher2019;s employer can be ordered to pay most of her wage to you leaving only necessary living expenses (social security payments cannot be redirected);2022; Redirect other money 2014; if she has money in a bank account or is due to receive money for rental income, then this can be paid;2022; Petition for the bankruptcy of your catfisher.If your catfisher does repay some of the debt, then always keep records and provide a receipt. Electronic transfers or a bank cheque are often a safer option rather than handing money over in a briefcase.There are strict time limits to recover a debt, so you should not delay in taking action.This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email stories@news.com.autrending in lifestyleShe said she was a young woman seeking love, and she was gorgeous. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:Supplied Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au2019;s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to catfishing and online deception.QUESTION: I couldn2019;t believe my luck when I met an incredible woman online. She contacted me on Tinder, but we quickly took things off-platform, texting until the early hours every night. She was easily the most beautiful woman who has ever spoken to me 2014; I2019;m not the most popular man when it comes to the ladies. I couldn2019;t believe the connection I felt to her, even though we2019;d never actually spoken before (she told me the microphone on her phone was broken so we could only text, not speak). After months of chatting, she finally agreed to fly from Perth to Melbourne so we could meet in person, but on the day, everything went wrong 2014; her car broke down and she missed her flight and had no money to buy a new one, so I sent her some cash, about $4000 in total. I waited at the airport but she never showed up and hasn2019;t answered any of my texts since. I am heartbroken and also so embarrassed. Was I catfished? Do I have any legal rights? 2014; Paul, MelbourneANSWER: Catfishing is the term used to describe deception about someone2019;s identity online, usually with an ulterior motive.As in your case, it2019;s often used in online dating to pursue someone romantically under false pretences or to bully someone on social media.RELATED: Help! My landlord keeps 2018;dropping in2019; unannouncedRELATED: Help! My neighbour is secretly filming meRELATED: My boss hit on me and then made me redundantDo you ever really know who you're chatting to online? Picture: Rohit Tandon/UnsplashSource:SuppliedCatfishing itself is not a crime under the law, however it will be considered illegal in certain circumstances.Every state and territory has laws making fraudulent behaviour a crime, with hefty financial penalties and jail time.For catfishing to be classified as fraud under the law, it would need to be shown that:2022; By deception, the 201C;catfish201D; acted dishonestly;2022; The conduct caused a financial advantage over the other person or caused them to suffer a disadvantage;2022; The conduct was intentional or reckless.Tracking down this woman2019;s real identity (assuming she was even a woman) can be very difficult, let alone proving the elements of fraud to allow criminal charges to be laid.Catfishing may also violate the terms of use of the particular social media or dating platform, so you should report the woman2019;s profile to Tinder ensure her profile is suspended immediately.Unfortunately, you2019;re not the first person to fall for a catfishing scam, with celebrity Casey Donovan also being a victim.Celebrities have also had their identities stolen in order to catfish unsuspecting victims.Criminal charges can also be laid where the catfish uses fraud to procure or engage in sexual activity.Other more serious charges may apply to people who prey on children online to cause them harm, engage or procure sexual activity. Dubbed 201C;Carly2019;s Law201D;, these laws follow the campaigning of concerned mother Sonia Ryan whose 15-year-old daughter was murdered in 2007 by a man posing online as an 18-year-old musician.In relation to the money that you provided her, if your intention was to loan her the money then you may be able to get this back from her.To do so, you must send her a letter of demand (after you have identified who she is), setting out that she owes you $4000 and asking that it be repaid within a certain time frame, otherwise legal action will be taken.She said she was a young woman seeking love and was the girl of his dreams. Picture: Igor Starkov/UnsplashSource:SuppliedIf she doesn2019;t respond then each state and territory has different rules about how to recover money owed to you.In Victoria, you2019;re able to begin proceedings in the Magistrate2019;s Court to recover debts up to $100,000. This is also the case in South Australia.For those living in other states and territories, such as Queensland, or the ACT where the amount is less than $25,000 ($10,000 in the Northern Territory), then a claim can be lodged with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.To lodge a claim with the tribunal or court, you must prepare a claim document that has:2022; The full name, and address, of the person or business who owes you money;2022; Details of the debt, including the date and place it happened, the amount, the terms of the agreement (including when it was to be paid back and whether it was a written or verbal agreement);2022; Any supporting documents, such as a copy of the agreement, and evidence showing the transfer of the money or goods (for example, bank statements);2022; Details of the amount you are trying to recover, plus any additional costs or interest.You must then serve the claim on the person who owes you money, and you may have to prove you provided her with the documents. The time frame for her to respond is 21 days in Victoria but between 21 and 30 days in other states and territories.If your catfisher fails to respond, you can ask the court or tribunal to make a decision in your favour. You may otherwise be required to attend the court or tribunal and argue why you should be repaid.If, ultimately, the debt is ordered to be repaid, then your catfisher may agree to repay the debt in instalments. If the debt is not repaid, then you may make a further application to the court or tribunal to:2022; Seize and sell property 2014; the property must be sold by public auction and for a reasonable price;2022; Redirect debts 2014; if your catfisher is owed money by someone else, this can instead be ordered to be given to you instead;2022; Redirect earnings 2014; your catfisher2019;s employer can be ordered to pay most of her wage to you leaving only necessary living expenses (social security payments cannot be redirected);2022; Redirect other money 2014; if she has money in a bank account or is due to receive money for rental income, then this can be paid;2022; Petition for the bankruptcy of your catfisher.If your catfisher does repay some of the debt, then always keep records and provide a receipt. Electronic transfers or a bank cheque are often a safer option rather than handing money over in a briefcase.There are strict time limits to recover a debt, so you should not delay in taking action.This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email stories@news.com.autrending in lifestyle

          (责编:張承誌)

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          “中醫關懷計劃”服務博茨瓦納華僑華人        Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men's names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty ImagesWouldn’t it be handy — albeit a complete violation of one’s privacy — if you could check a list every time you started dating someone, just to make sure they weren’t already married? Well, now single gals in Tanzania may be able to do just that after a governor unveiled plans to create a public database of every engaged and married man2019;s name 2014; in a bid to save single women from 201C;unnecessary heartbreak201D;.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda, the governor of the country2019;s capital city Dar-es-Salaam, said he has received a lot of complaints from women who were abandoned by their lovers after becoming engaged, revealing his plan to help tackle infidelity in the East African country.According to the leader, a database will help prevent men from cheating as once they2019;re married and no longer available, single women will be able to verify that information 2014; saving themselves from suffering a broken heart.Regional Commissioner Paul Makonda revealed plans to create a database of married men’s names so women can save themselves from ‘unnecessary heartbreak’. Picture: GettySource:Getty Images201C;I have been receiving complaints from women who have been promised marriage by men, yet the men didn2019;t fulfil the promise. I know women who have been paying bills yet the men walked away 2026;201D; Makonda said in native language Kiswahili during a press conference on Monday, reports CNN.201C;These charming men have been promising to marry them, then ditch the women after using them. This is something that is humiliating.201D;He then went on to detail a proposed database at the regional commissioner2019;s office in each region where 201C;every man who promises a woman marriage, this should be registered201D; in a bid to allow women to check to see whether the person asking was already married.Mr Makonda said the database would include men in Christian, Muslim and customary marriages.The announcement of such extreme measures has been met with a largely negative response, with many on Twitter blasting the idea calling it 201C;nonsense201D;.absolutely nonesense— ing dela hills sewornu ?? ???? (@prospersewornu) August 14, 2019 #Tanzania is to make its database of married men in the country public to help women know the marital status of their partners before they have a serious relationship with them. This came about following the number of women who claim to have been cheated on by men #CheatingMen— okwoche (@okwoche) August 13, 2019 Silly idea to make a data base for all married men. Guys would always cheat if the need arises.— Alfred Steven ??Sober-Man (@alfredsteven9) August 13, 2019 ???????? Good morning! Tanzania state official says plans underway to publicise married men in efforts to tame cheating - Graphic Online https://t.co/xxqXRiS2Ae— Sanaaheneba ???????? ???? (@bkghana) August 14, 2019 The Constitutional court should intervene here..Confidentiality should be upheld..!— Tornado..Veteran 102 (@tyengeni1954) August 13, 2019 What happened to.. right to privacy— Thulani (@thulanii_) August 13, 2019 However there were a few who thought the idea would work, with one praising it as a 201C;good idea201D;.Good idea ????— AFRICAN: Elijah Ngurare (@ngurare) August 13, 2019 Tanzanian news outlet The Citizen reported some men were upset over the plans as there was no suggestion a list of married women would be created.Tanzania isn2019;t the first country to propose a way to expose cheating men, with a governor in neighbouring Kenya vowing to expose politicians who abandon their lovers with children after an affair.Mike Sonko, governor of Nairobi, shared two telephone numbers on his Facebook page and urged women who believes they have been mistreated to contact his office with pictures and evidence of the affairs.201C;From today all great women of this country, if there is an MP, Senator, Governor, civil servant or businessman who has impregnated you and denied responsibility send me their details we expose him and seek DNA tests when he2019;s still alive,201D; Sonko wrote on his Facebook page.What do you think of the plans to create a public list of marriages to prevent cheating? Let us know in the comments below or continue the conversation @RebekahScanlan | rebekah.scanlan@news.com.autrending in lifestyle【详细】

          国际|国际观察|中國留學生成為斯德哥爾摩高校中最大國際生群體

          在英國際學生經濟貢獻大 內政委員會籲放寬限製        Sian didn't want to admit what had happened to her. Picture: iStockSource:istockWARNING: This article contains descriptions of sexual assault. “DID HE penetrate you without your consent?” my psychologist asked. “Because that’s rape.” I had just described my weekend to him. I had a weird hook-up, I said. I explained that I had sex with a friend of mine — a beautiful, curly-haired boy with long eyelashes and a gentle demeanour. But after I fell asleep, I woke up to the feeling of his penis inside me.For more stories like this, go to whimn.com.auMy psychologist looked at me with concern. I shook my head. 201C;I wasn2019;t raped. I2019;ve been raped before. If that was rape I2019;d feel traumatised, and I don2019;t,201D; I said. 201C;You2019;re wrong,201D; said a voice inside me. I knew what rape was: I was sexually assaulted when I was younger, and I2019;d been doing anti-rape activism and writing for years. I knew my psychologist was right. 201C;You2019;re a hypocrite,201D; the voice continued. But admitting that I was raped meant I2019;d have to go back to square one and start healing again. I didn2019;t want to do that.Every single person experiences rape differently. Picture: iStockSource:istockAs soon as I got up and left my rapist2019;s bed he realised what he had done. 201C;I2019;m so sorry,201D; he said, as realisation crept into the lines across his forehead. 201C;Sian, I2019;m so sorry.201D; It was the beginning of what would be months of apologies. He texted me an hour later to apologise, and an hour after that to tell me he2019;d stop texting me if that2019;s what I wanted. I didn2019;t respond. Later that week, he texted that he needed to see me. 201C;I need to know how to fix things,201D; the text read. I allowed him to come to my residence to speak to me. While I waited for him to arrive, I frantically googled: 201C;What to do if your rapist apologises.201D; No good results turned up; I was completely without a blueprint on how to act and feel. He sat at my desk in my room and started crying. He apologised to me profusely, and he told me he2019;d never do it again. He knew what he did was wrong. He didn2019;t mean to hurt me. What more could I ask for? I thought. As he tearily begged for forgiveness, my heart broke. None of my other rapists had ever asked for forgiveness. This means he2019;s different, right? This means it2019;s OK. I hugged him to comfort him. That hug became a kiss. We ended up having sex for the next six hours. It wasn2019;t that bad, I told myself as his face disappeared between my thighs. If it was that bad, I wouldn2019;t be able to sleep with him now.Is sleeping with your rapist self-harm? Picture: David Fanuel on UnsplashSource:istockI closed my eyes and found myself halfway between pleasure and confusion. I always thought of orgasms like a hurricane, with all my nerves twisting and turning and rising up out of my body. This time, I found myself in the eye of the storm, calm and numb, while my body twisted and turned around me. When I was 12, I was raped. Like many others, I self-harmed to deal with the trauma. I was self-destructive. I was full of anger and self-loathing. I cut into my thighs, took painfully hot showers and scratched my skin open. This time around, I thought I was doing well because I wasn2019;t doing those things. Looking back, I realise that choosing to sleep with my rapist was a part of another self-destructive pattern.WE2019;RE TAUGHT THAT RAPISTS ARE MONSTERSMaybe this is why I didn2019;t expect to feel human feelings for my rapist. In some ways, those feelings were a form of denial. When I scrubbed away my memories of the assault, what remained was the attraction I felt toward him before. The month that followed, I was all over him, my hands running through his corkscrew curls. I could2019;ve nearly told him I loved him. We were tangled and sweaty. The way he looked at me made me feel like I was worthy of everyone2019;s love, including my own. I constantly thought to myself: What if I could relive the first night? If I went back in time and consented, it would have been a great story instead of a tragedy. Every time I said yes, I was trying to consent retroactively. For me, sleeping with him was the ultimate denial that he ever raped me.Sian was in denial. Picture: iStockSource:istockA few weeks after our last sexual encounter, he started dating someone. There was a part of me that felt rejected. Another part of me felt relieved 2014; I didn2019;t have to sleep with him anymore. Our fling had ended without any pain or grand gestures. The relationship had disintegrated and disappeared from memory as if it never happened. I wish the assault would do the same.EVERY PERSON EXPERIENCES RAPE DIFFERENTLYSome of us hate our rapists and some of us can2019;t. Sometimes people sleep with their rapists. Sometimes we date them. Sometimes we even marry them. We seek healing in many ways. We don2019;t always find it, but we always deserve it. We deserve it even when we try to heal by hurting ourselves, and no matter what kind of hurt it is. Self-harm can be in the form of cuts on your thighs or orgasms on your rapist2019;s futon. You can2019;t consent in hindsight, and no amount of sex 2014; consensual, amazing, mind-blowing sex 2014; you have with your rapist will erase your sexual assault. You could carve the letters Y-E-S into their back a billion times; it won2019;t make you forget that you once didn2019;t get a chance to say yes. Writer Nayyirah Waheed once wrote, 201C;Apologise to your body. Maybe that2019;s where healing begins.201D; I try to apologise to myself for willingly entering such a confusing and harmful situation. Maybe one day I2019;ll stop apologising and begin healing again.This story originally appeared on The Greatist via whimn.com.au and is republished here with permission .If you or someone you know needs help, please contact the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service on 1800 RESPECT for 24/7 support.trending in lifestyle。【详细】

          国际|国际观察|四海一家 川港同行——川港青年交流活動側記
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